Nightingale Syndrome
by Neassa
Summary: "Oh, I know what I'm getting myself into. An epic adventure where nothing will go right except the improvisations. Bentley being smarter than all of us, Murray being REALLY confusing, me laughing while Carmelita tries to shoot you... actually, is that a thing that's going to happen? Or has she sworn off raccoon murder during your fake amnesia?" Sequel to Lima Syndrome. Set in Sly 4
1. The One With The Intervention

*kicks door in*

GUESS WHO?

Sorry this took so long! Since I started writing it last February, I've had to write two books, do four semesters of school, and adopt two kittens. So, yeah, I've been busy. But it's finally here! And now I'll stop talking so you guys can read it, I know that's what you're here for.

* * *

_The lab was quiet. Really quiet. That time of day, Penelope was always down there. Was something wrong?_

_Wheeling himself down the hallway, Bentley entered the lab and was surprised to find it empty. If Penelope was going out, she would have mentioned it. Where was she?_

_He searched the entire lab, becoming more and more frantic as he did. When he called Penelope's number, he found her cell phone on the desk with the mouse nowhere to be seen._

_Just as he was starting to panic, the warning alarms on the device analyzing the Thievius Raccoonus started blaring._

_"What on Earth...?"_

_Hurrying into the analysis room, Bentley plucked the Thievius Raccoonus from where it hovered, letting it fall open to Rioichi Cooper's entry._

_The words seem to lift away from the page, like they were being written in reverse. Not just the words, but the diagrams and pictures that had been drawn centuries previous started to peel away. Before his eyes, Rioichi's entire entry vanished._

_Bentley found himself still sitting there four minutes later, trying to process what he'd seen._

_Cleary, something was very, very wrong._

* * *

When I first woke up, I wasn't immediately sure why. I don't know about you, but when I first wake up, it's not an instantaneous thing. It takes me a little while to recognize that the world even exists. But this time, when I woke up, I was immediately alert, which confused me until I saw the blinking light on my phone.

Groaning in annoyance, I relaxed back into the pillows and fumbled with the device. The bright light speared my eyes as it cheerfully informed me that I had a text from Kristian Garter.

Kristian, I firmly decided, was the devil. Whenever he texted or called, he liked to do it first thing in the morning, knowing I was too polite to ignore him and also that I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep afterwards. He said he was helping me out, because my sleeping schedule was pathetic. I usually grumbled at him for it, but the fact remained that I got more stuff done in the morning when he woke me up.

This text was informing me that he was going to have to postpone our monthly lunch tomorrow due to a case. We got together once a month mostly so he could make sure I wasn't up to anything and, presumably, report back to my dad. I didn't mind for two reasons. First, I was never up to anything and it was hilarious giving him vague answers and watch him try to puzzle out if I _was_ actually up to something or if I was just screwing with him. Second, we always went somewhere nice and I never had to pay for it.

I texted him back that I hated him and that next week was fine for me. Then I dropped my phone back on the bedside table and glared at the ceiling. Nope. Still totally awake, no getting back to sleep for me.

I rubbed a hand over my eyes and started to shift to get out of bed, only to be stopped by something heavy attached to my waist. I frowned in confusion, then rolled my eyes and threw the covers back.

"You have your own bed, you know."

The sugar-glider attached to my waist blinked sleepily at me, then yawned and made a valiant effort to burrow into my stomach, drawing his overlong tail up over his eyes. I poked him in the side.

"C'mon, time to get up. You're six, you shouldn't be sleeping in till noon for at least a decade, Tate."

Tate did not get up. Not even when I did. Rather, he preferred to just cling tightly and have me drag him around. At least, until I asked if he wanted to put on The Lion King while we made breakfast. Then he was downstairs in a flash.

Ahanu had brought Tate home one day with no warning or explanation. He just showed up with this traumatized little kid clinging to his hand. Neither Ritsuka nor I had any idea where Tate came from, but we assumed it had something to do with Ahanu's work, even though he continually insisted he was just a translator.

I walked into the kitchen and asked Tate what he wanted for breakfast. He rummaged under the counter for a few minutes and produced a box of pancake mix and a bag of chocolate chips, looking hopeful. I laughed, tousled his hair, and took out a skillet.

Tate _could_ talk, he just didn't much like doing it. English wasn't his first language, but I had no clue what his first language was, just that he and Ahanu would sometimes speak in it at length and I couldn't identify it at all.

Really, the only things I knew about Tate were that he had a sweet tooth, he didn't like talking, he carried his huge tail around like a beloved stuffed animal, and he loved The Lion King. But that was okay. He was a good kid.

Just while I was trying to explain the concept of putting the chocolate chips in the batter while in the skillet instead of in the bowl where they would all sink to the bottom, there was a knock on the door. This would seem pretty normal except for one thing. Ahanu's 'translator' job provided him a level of security that meant there were 24-hour guards stationed at the road that led to his house in the country side. We weren't expecting company and they would have called if they were letting someone up to the house.

Tate and I exchanged glances. I turned off the stove and pushed the skillet off the burner while Tate jumped to the floor and folded himself into the cabinet under the sink.

I casually stepped out into the entryway, taking my trusty baton down from the top of a dresser and holding it out of sight as I slowly opened the door... and promptly let out a sigh of relief.

"Geez, Bentley, give me a heart attack, why don't you?" I asked, stashing my baton in the waistband of my pajama pants and opening the door wider so Bentley could wheel himself in.

The turtle gave me a smile, "Sorry, but I couldn't exactly go through the proper channels. Wanted thief and all."

I shook my head and smiled back, "Of course." Then I knelt and wrapped my arms around him, "It's _really_ good to see you, Bentley."

It had been about eight months since I'd last seen Bentley and I'd really missed him. That was about seven and half months too long.

He returned the hug with equal fervor, "You too. It's been too long."

I pulled back and noticed that Bentley had his pith helmet on, which pretty much guaranteed that he was either about to pull a job or just had. The text from Kristian flashed through my mind and I felt my stomach bottom out.

"I'm guessing this isn't a social call?"

The smile dropped from his face and he shook his head, sighing, "No, I'm afraid not. I- ummm..." he trailed off, looking behind me with a confused and faintly horrified expression.

I glanced over my shoulder and had to hold back a sigh. Something else that was weird about Tate is that Ahanu let him _carry around a taser_, which the little sugar-glider currently had pointed at Bentley.

Standing, I walked over to him and patted him on the head, "It's okay, bud. Bentley's an old friend of mine. He's joining us for breakfast, why don't we finish the pancakes?"

* * *

About twenty minutes later, we'd settled in at the table. Tate happily devoured his pancakes (and the fruit I forced on him), but he kept a wary eye on Bentley. Bentley, for his part, looked utterly terrified of Tate. That may have been because of the whole taser thing, but I made a mental note to ask Bentley if he was scared of kids.

"So," I started around a mouthful of plain pancakes and fruit (I didn't actually like chocolate chips), "How's Penelope?"

It was the wrong thing to ask. Bentley sighed, setting his fork down, "That's why I'm here. She's... missing."

I froze, but then forced myself to relax, "Define 'missing'?" Because I knew for a fact if there was any evidence of foul play or that something bad had happened, there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell Bentley would have bothered with breakfast. He'd have called, told me to get my tail to Paris, and hung up.

"She just... vanished. I searched everywhere, but there was no evidence of anything. Then I noticed the Thievius Raccoonus... I've been examining it, you know. Well entire sections have started going missing out of it, words just vanishing right off the page. And I've been working on a time machine lately so I figured if _I_ have the technology, who's to say someone else doesn't?"

I nodded along slowly. Time travel was hardly the weirdest thing I'd encountered with the gang. "Okay, so you think someone's messing with the time line."

"Yes. And they seem to be targeting Sly's ancestors."

Okay... so if it was a timeline issue, that would explain Bentley's lack of rush. Fixing the timeline would bring Penelope back safe and sound.

"So lemme guess. Get the gang back together, epic adventure?"

"That's what it's looking like."

I hummed and started clearing away plates so I wouldn't have to look at Bentley while I said, "Well you'll have to count me out this time."

I heard him sigh, "I was afraid of that."

Bracing my hands against the sink, I clenched my jaw and turned on the water, "I just... I can't do it again. I can't go back and forth between normality and the gang, I have to pick one, I can't do both."

"I understand," Bentley said, sincere, but still regretful, "In that case, I just need Sly's cane. There's no way he'll stay retired with someone targeting his family."

I nodded, "Yeah, okay. I'll go get it."

Swallowing around the lump in my throat, I took the stairs up to my room two at a time. The cane was where I'd left it, at the back of my closet. Bentley had had me take it after he and Penelope completed the Cooper Vault 2.0. Said it was stupid to keep the key in the same place as the treasure, which I had to agree with.

I plucked the cane from its resting place, feeling the familiar weight of it in my hand. It was in good shape, I took it out once a month and polished it. Just because I was mad at Sly didn't mean I had to take it out on his cane, after all.

Taking it down to Bentley, I found Tate curled up on his lap, whispering to him quietly. I was really confused by that and would have stopped to try and eavesdrop if it weren't for the fact that Tate noticed me immediately and clammed up, climbing down from Bentley's wheelchair and walking past me into the living room, where I could hear the opening chords of _Hakuna Matata_ start to play.

"What was that all about?" I asked, stepping forward and handing the cane over to Bentley?

"Uh, nothing." He took the cane, clearly noticing the state of it, but saying nothing. "Thank you."

"No problem. You taking off?"

"Yes, I should get going. Murray will be waiting for me in Paris. If you change your mind..."

I smiled thinly, "I know."

* * *

Bentley wheeled himself away from the old house on the hill with Sly's cane, but it was a hollow victory.

He knew Kaia was hurting still. And he knew why, it had been hard on all of them to get back to normal life, but it was hardest for her because she had nowhere to go back to. She'd thrown it all away when she joined the gang. And he knew she was wrestling with being angry at Sly because of it.

If he'd pushed harder, he knew she would have come with him, but if she didn't do it of her own free will, they'd all be miserable.

He just wished things could have gone back to the way they were. Sly and Kaia... they'd _had_ something. Something _good_.

When they figured it all out and Penelope was safe and sound, then he'd tackle the problem of getting Sly and Kaia in the same room.

Right now, though, he unfortunately had other priorities.

* * *

"She did _what?!_"

Things had been peaceful for the rest of the day. Tate and I had hung out, I'd cleaned a bit, Ritsuka came home and we made dinner, then Ahanu had come home and Tate had dragged him into the living room by the wrist for a private conversation.

Which I was currently hearing the results of.

Ahanu stormed into the room. "Kaia. Dear, precious child, tell me Bentley didn't actually come here and ask you to come back to the gang and _you said no."_

I blinked at him, up to my elbows in soapy water from cleaning the dishes, "Um, am I supposed to be telling you that Bentley didn't come or that I didn't turn him down? Because I'm confused."

Ahanu took what looked like a deep, cleansing breath, "Ritsuka, dear, could you please take Tate out for ice cream so Kaia and I can have a little chat?"

Oh this was going to end so, _so_ badly.

Ritsuka rolled his eyes, but got up from the table and offered Tate his hand, "Come on, bug. Ahanu and Kaia need to have a very loud, adult conversation about being idiots. You and me get to go have ice cream, as we are clearly the superior members of this family."

Tate seemed quite pleased with this turn of events, though he gave Ahanu and I a concerned look as Ritsuka led him out of the room.

"Now," Ahanu said, when we were alone, "Can you tell we what possessed you to do something so _stupid_?"

I bristled, "Ahanu, I'm in the middle of school. I already left school once to run off with the gang and it didn't work out. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice..."

"Kaia," the fox's voice was firm, "That's not a real reason and you know it. School will always be there, this opportunity won't. What's the real reason?"

See, that right there was the single downside of living with Ahanu. He let you get away with _nothing_. "It's my decision what I want to do, can't you just leave it alone?"

"No I can't because friends don't let friends make _terrible_ decisions."

I let out an angry breath, turning my back and slapping the cloth I'd been using to dry dishes into the sink. "It's because he _left_, okay, Ahanu? And I know I shouldn't be as angry as I am because it's not like he owed me anything, but he left and he didn't say goodbye and he hasn't so much as sent a postcard since. And if he obviously didn't care, why should I?"

"Because you so obviously _do_." Ahanu spun me around by the shoulder and leaned down to catch my eye. "Hey, that's the _point_ okay? He makes you care. And he cares about you, even if he's an idiot. I don't know why he hasn't contacted you, but he does care. And you care too and it's just about the only thing you care about nowadays. You're mostly a zombie otherwise." He shrugged when I glared at him, "It's true and you know it."

"How is him making me rage a good thing?"

"Well, you can go and make his life a living hell and make him regret leaving you behind every single day. And, hey, maybe get some answers while you're at it. Because I'd bet that you have a lot of questions that need answers."

Well that was true, but, "But what if he doesn't want me there?" Now, see, I'm of the opinion Ahanu had a secret super power that made people tell him the stuff they never ever wanted to tell anyone because otherwise, that never would have come out of my mouth.

"You're an idiot." Ahanu said fondly.

I rolled my eyes at him and rubbed my forehead with the heel of my hand. "I need to think."

"Then go think." He gave me a light shove toward the door and took my place at the sink to finish the dishes. I stood there for a few moments more, then grabbed my coat and gym bag and headed outside.

* * *

When one finds themselves suddenly bereft of interesting experiences after spending upwards of a year traveling around the world with a group of some of the most fascinating people to ever inhabit it, one quickly learns that they really, really need a hobby.

I discovered my hobby one evening exploring my new campus when I stumbled into the gymnastics practice gym.

I'd done gymnastics when I was little. It had been my mother's idea. Because I was a hybrid and so ridiculously out of proportion, I'd had a lot of balance issues and problems with motor control. In gymnastics, you had to be very aware of what every part of you was doing. It had worked for my mom, who was also a hybrid, when she was little, so she thought it might work for me to. It had, but I hadn't done gymnastics in years.

Which explained why, even though I still had a pretty solid grasp of the basics, I was really crap at it.

I probably would have given up that first night if the captain of the gymnastics team, a girl named Charla, hadn't been watching my hilariously pathetic attempts and stepped in to correct my technique.

After that, I made my first new friend and found myself at the gym several times a week. The entire team was really nice actually, but I never joined. It just didn't feel right.

The gym had become a sort of safe haven for me and I could get in at all hours, so that was where I went after I spoke with Ahanu.

I'd been trying to build my upper body strength and coordination so, after changing, stretching, and braiding my hair to get it out of the way, I made for the uneven bars.

Launching myself off the spring board, I caught the lowest bar and swung. The burn of exertion in my arms was familiar and pleasant. Gymnastics had also provided me a way to stay in shape after leaving the gang. In fact, I was probably more in shape now than I'd ever been with them.

I wondered, briefly, if Sly would be surprised at my progress, if I'd finally be able to keep up with him in a race or if maybe I'd actually beat him now I'd been working out and he'd been 'retired', and promptly lost my grip on the bar and went sprawling across the gym mats.

Groaning, I sat up, rubbing the shoulder that had taken the brunt of the hit, and started when I heard slow, sarcastic clapping.

"Wow, and here I thought you were starting to get better. Did you seriously just forget to hold on?"

I jerked my head around and saw Charla walking towards me. She was a petite papillon, very pretty with her hair pulled back and bright blue eyes staring at me judgmentally.

Avoiding her gaze I rolled my shoulder and muttered, "I was distracted," under my breath.

"You've been 'distracted' for exactly as long as we've known each other," she said, dropping down on the mat next to me, crossing her arms over her knees and watching as I made sure I hadn't grievously injured myself, "But it's worse tonight. Did something happen?"

I sighed, turning away, "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Too bad, I'm not letting you get back on those bars until I'm sure you're not going to break your neck."

I groaned and flopped backwards, covering my face with my hands, "How did I only wind up with friends that are aggressively concerned?"

"Because you're a lucky person. Does this have anything to do with Cooper?"

That was the first time Charla had mentioned Sly to me at all. I hadn't even been sure she knew. "Sort of?" I wasn't worried about telling her, she wouldn't mention it to anyone. "The gang might want me back."

"Is that a bad thing? You've been moping ever since you broke up."

"Yeah but..."

"But what? You can either go with them and be happy and _maybe_ miserable later or you can stay here and definitely be miserable. It's not a hard choice."

"But what if I don't even have a place there?" I didn't take my hands away from my eyes, "I didn't even have a specific job the first two times, I was just there and occasionally had stuff to do."

"Okay, now you're just fishing. Nobody with a job title ever totally sticks to their job description, that's just part of being a team. As long as you're doing something, what's it matter? Hell, you could be providing _moral support_ and still be contributing."

Now I opened my eyes to glare at here, "You're not helping me come up with reasons to stay."

"That's because there are no reasons to stay. You just need how much of an idiot you are thoroughly explained to you before you'll do anything about it." She informed me cheerfully.

"I hate you."

"Worth it. Now, if you're going to be leaving on me, I'm not letting you leave with such atrocious form on those bars. Get up, we're working on your landing."

* * *

Inspector Kristian Garter perused the files and monitors in front of him, trying to work out the best way to tackle his current problem.

When his cell phone buzzed in his pocket, the cougar spared just a moment to dig it out and flip it open, "Report."

"No activity on Jenks's passport yet, sir." His contact replied.

He grunted, semi-surprised, "Looks like she won't be joining them on this particular venture. How's Inspector Fox?"

"Angry, sir. She was not pleased with being taken off the case. We're keeping two agents near her so she won't slip away."

"Good call. This has been her case from the beginning, but she's too emotionally attached to the situation now. It had to be done."

"Easy for you to say, sir, you're not the one that has to watch out for that shock pistol."

Kristian chuckled, "Fair enough, Geoff. I owe you a drink."

"You owe me _dinner_."

"That depends entirely on how long you can keep her away from the museum." The Inspector challenged, hanging up. "Now..." he said, turning back to the monitors, "Where are you, Cooper?"

A shock of blue fluttered at the edge of a screen and Kristian smirked, sliding his service pistol into its holster and making for the door.

* * *

I barely caught the backpack before it could hit me in the face. Then I just stared at it for a second, "You packed my bag for me? That's a little presumptuous."

Ritsuka shrugged, "Am I wrong?"

"Well, no."

"There you go, then."

I was still nervous, but at this point, I'd pretty much caved and decided to just do it and if it went horribly wrong, then it went horribly wrong. All I had to do was fight the urge to throw up and get to Paris.

"Here you go," Ahanu handed me an envelope and a brown paper bag.

"Did you seriously pack me a bag lunch?"

"Yes, and your train ticket is in the envelope, don't lose it."

"You guys just want to get rid of me."

"Gee, what gave it away?" Ritsuka deadpanned.

"We just don't want you to change your mind. By the way, your train leaves in half an hour."

"_What?_" I turned for the door, but stopped when I felt a tug on my sleeve.

Tate was standing there, looking up at me, before making the universal gesture for 'pick me up, tall person'. I immediately scooped him up and he latched his arms around my neck.

"Are you going away?" he muttered into my neck.

"Yeah," I said softly, "I have people waiting for me."

He nodded, then pulled back to press a kiss against my cheek, "Come visit soon."

My heart melted, as it often did around him, and I kissed his forehead, "I'll be back before you know it."

Nodding again, he let himself be handed off to Ahanu.

I was going to miss this haphazard little family, but for the first time in a long time I felt a stirring of excitement deep in my chest.

Maybe this wasn't going to go horribly wrong after all.

* * *

Sorry, no reunion/rage-fueled-beatdown this chapter, but I assure you that the gang is back together in the next one!

Until then, feel free to check out the blog for fanart, Q/A, Nightingale Syndrome's playlist, a link to the official Kaia askblog, and other assorted goodies!


	2. The One With The Reunion

Okay, there were some last minute dialogue changes to this chapter, but I think I'm done editing it. For now. You finally get your reunion, at least!

* * *

"Okay, Sly. The security system is down. You're all clear!"

"Great!" Sly grinned, pushing himself to the edge of the ledge. "I'm going in!"

It was phenomenal being back with his friends and doing this. He couldn't believe he'd been without it so long. He still hurt, of course, suspected he always would after what had happened, but his friends went a long way toward helping him out.

That, and the adrenaline and knowledge that he was continuing his family's legacy.

Speaking of which.

He threw himself into the skylight, feeling the small winch slow his descent to a manageable level until he hovered just in front of the dagger.

Swinging himself forward just slightly, he closed his hand around the ancient sheath. Slipping a calling card out of his belt, he made the switch effortlessly.

Then, of course, the door swung open.

"What the-"

"Freeze, Cooper."

Sly chuckled nervously, not taking his eyes off the gun, "Inspector Garter. Funny meeting you here."

Narrowing his eyes, the cougar stalked forward, "Not particularly, but why don't we head on back to the station? I'm sure you and Carmelita will have plenty of laughs."

The raccoon winced, then smiled, thumbing the winch control on his belt, "Sorry, I gotta to take a rain check."

"All units, Cooper is escaping via the roof! Repeat, all units-"

"Good evening, this is Sly Cooper. I'd like to request a ride."

"Cute, Sly."

* * *

It took twenty hours to get to Paris. Twenty. Hours. Longest train ride ever. On the upside, trains were the one thing that didn't give me motion sickness, go figure.

On the other upside, I had my iPod, so I spent a large portion of the trip staring out the window and dozing in a sort of meditative coma.

I reached Paris at about eleven at night, so I felt a strange mixture of dead and oddly energetic. Rubbing the side of my face that had been plastered against the window and was therefore numb, I swung my backpack up onto my shoulders and stuck my iPod in my pocket so I could depart with the few other passengers still on the train.

My first stop, I presumed, was the Safehouse. There were two Safehouses in Paris, the one that served as a home base and living quarters for the game most of the time, and the one that they used when they were pulling a job in Paris and didn't want to lead the cops back to their main hideout. After a few minutes of thought, I headed for the second one.

I immediately regretted that and all the other choices I'd made in my life when I opened the door and had my eyes assaulted by neon strobes lights and what was probably a disco ball.

There was only one explanation for this.

"Dimitri!" I shouted over the music, "Turn it down!"

I'm surprised he actually heard me, but then again he was probably intimately aware what his music sounded like by now and could tell when someone was making an attempt to yell over it.

"What do this Dimitri's eyes see? A white washed past-jumper?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose. Hard. "Hello, Dimitri. Where is everyone?"

"They split! They been gone since their job last night. Vanished right out from under those coppers, no one even knows they can jive on the temporal highway!"

It took me a second to translate that, "They already left?!" I felt my heart sink.

Dimitri nodded, "But the little turtle dude, he left something for you in the upstairs."

My heart climbed all the way up from my stomach to settle in my throat, "Bentley knew I was coming?"

"Little dude is genius, we always knew that."

I laughed, "Thanks, Dimitri. But why are you here?"

"Dimitri is looking after that dirt-old Cooper book. Too risky to go back in time with the cracker boxes."

"... right. I'm gonna go check out what Bentley left me."

"Stylin'."

I took the stairs two at a time. I'd only been in the lesser Paris Safehouse once, back when I first met the gang. The room I currently stood in was one in which I distinctly remembered deciding Bentley maybe wasn't so bad.

The desk that he'd been using at the time was now empty but for a simple box with a white envelope taped to the top.

I plucked the envelope from the box before I could chicken out. It simply had my name written on it in Bentley's distinctive handwriting. I opened it up and took out the letter.

_Dear Kaia,_

_ If you're reading this, then thank you for coming. I wasn't sure you would. I hoped you might, but I didn't want to force it._

_ I'm sorry we couldn't wait longer for you, but time is of the essence. The first entry in the Thievius Raccoonus to disappear was that of Rioichi Cooper. I believe you're familiar with him, having read the Thievius Raccoonus yourself. So our proposed destination is seventeenth century Japan._

_ In order to get there, we have to steal an ancient dagger belonging to the time period. Interpol has been suspiciously quiet lately, so this will probably get a little hairy and we'll have to depart immediately._

_ If that's the case, inside this box is a belt with a device implanted in it that is locked onto the van's temporal location. Once you put it on it will activate. There will be a three minute delay before it transports you to wherever in space-time the van is, within a few hundred yards. Be sure to have everything you need on hand before the device activates._

_ I hope to see you soon._

_ -Bentley_

Good old Bentley, always believing the best of people.

I opened the box, peering warily inside. There was a belt inside, simple grey leather but for the four green stones imbedded in it and the technical-looking buckle. It looked more like a fashion statement than a time travel device. But then again, Bentley had bugged places with actual bugs, this was hardly his strangest moment.

Taking a moment to be thankful I was actually wearing jeans and, thus, had belt loops, I put the belt on. It buzzed slightly and a light on the front flashed.

I took a deep breath. No going back now.

I had to fight back an edge of hysterical laughter as I adjusted my backpack. I couldn't believe I was doing this _again_.

One thing was for sure, though. They definitely weren't getting rid of me this time.

The belt buzzed again, then gave a sharp, sudden jerk, and the Safehouse disappeared.

* * *

The Time Vortex is blue.

Who knew?

It only lasted a few seconds, but as I shot through the vortex, I felt like I was flying. It wasn't hot or cold or anything, it just was. It seemed like there were images I was flashing past, but it's probably a good thing I couldn't process them all, I might have lost my mind from the overload.

Then it was over and I was sprawling across a-

A dock?

I shook my head against the disorientation and looked around.

I was on a dock by a water wheel. A spray of cold water from the nearby waterfall hit my face and I whipped my head around trying to see everything at once.

Feudal Japan was beautiful, the sky was clearer than I'd ever seen it, various trees shed leaves of a variety of colors, a brilliant full moon showed overhead, making the night clear as noon.

There was one distinct problem, though. I couldn't see the van.

But Bentley's letter had said 'within a few hundred yards', hadn't it? Maybe it was behind one of the nearby buildings...

I'd just started down a path between two of the buildings, making for the one with a large panda sign over it by passing under an arch when-

A heavy weight landed on my back, shoving me to the ground and forcing the breath from my lungs. I tried to push myself up, get more room to breathe, but I suddenly found myself with a shuriken at my throat.

"I would be still, if I were you," a heavily accented voice warned.

I froze, swallowing and feeling the sharp metal star prick my skin, but otherwise not moving an inch.

"You are not one of El Jefe's guards," the deep voice mused, "But you carry the tools of the future with you. Identify yourself, trespasser."

This guy knew about time travel? Who-

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a striped tail. Could it be...?

"Are you Rioichi Cooper?" I asked quietly.

The pressure on my neck increased, "How do you know that name?"

"My name's Kaia, Kaia Jenks. I'm a friend of Sly and Bentley and Murray."

"They have not mentioned you."

Of course not, that would be far too easy. "They weren't sure I'd be coming."

There was a contemplative pause, "How do you know of me?"

Oh crap, this was a test, wasn't it? "I read your entry in the Thievius Raccoonus. You invented the ninja spire jump and Sly is your number one fan."

I wanted to punch myself in the face for that last comment because it had left my mouth without my consent, but Rioichi gave a surprised chuckle and let me up, allowing me to finally turn to look at him.

And I just about fainted, because Rioichi was _clearly_ a hybrid. Despite his raccoon-like physique and markings, his fur was a deep brick red that made me think of red pandas.

But this guy was Sly's _ancestor_. How- What was going on here?

Not seeming to notice my internal panic, Rioichi looked me over. "You seem to speak truthfully, but if you lie you will not have the speed to escape."

I was pretty sure if I opened my mouth the sound I would emit would be some sort of high-pitched noise of strangulation, so I just kept my mouth shut and nodded.

Rioichi led the way around the side of the building, to a tunnel hidden by vines underneath the street and the river that, by the look of it, passed directly under where I'd landed.

He hooked the vines and drew them out of the way with his cane (his _cane_, his_ bamboo cane_, this was either the Twilight Zone or Heaven and I couldn't tell which), motioning me to go first. It sounds like a gentlemanly gestured, but I was ninety-eight percent sure it was only so he could stab me with the katana strapped to his back if I tried anything.

Still, he was Sly's ancestor and a ninja, so I had to assume he had some kind of honor code or something. Hopefully.

I took a deep breath and walked into the Safehouse, stepping carefully on the stones to avoid soaking my shoes in the water that moved around them.

Sketchy entrance aside, the interior of the passage revealed a large room that looked like a normal Safehouse, aside from the fact that the van was in the corner as opposed to stashed somewhere outside that the guards would miraculously overlook. Also, there was a ping-pong table in the back for some reason.

The main focus of the room, though, was the large, circular table that seemed to following Bentley wherever he went. The turtle himself was at his laptop, clearly in the middle of some sort of planning. Sly and Murray were both leaning back in their chairs.

While Murray had pretty clearly dozed off, Sly was just looking up at the ceiling, clearly zoned out, a peaceful expression on his face.

When he looked over at our entrance though, that look vanished and was replaced by... well, something I'd never really seen before. It was blank, like the sheer amount of stuff actually going on inside his head was completely shorting out his ability to emote. It looked like he was going to fall out of his chair.

His sudden tension made Bentley look up, spot me, and grin, "Nice of you to join us!"

I shrugged, taking a few steps farther in, "Well, according to, oh, everyone I know, I just needed some time to get over myself. Besides, you can't get rid of me that easily."

"Clearly."

The speech seemed to break the spell Sly was under. He hurriedly stepped around the table, nearly tripping over his own feet, which was my first indication something was off.

In seconds he was in front of me, his expression unchanged, though there was something... desperate in his eyes. He lifted a hand and let it hover between us before, retracting it like I was going to bite him.

There was something wrong here. He hadn't said a word and he was moving so carefully.

I tilted my head to the side, narrowing my eyes at him, "Sly, what-hey!" I rubbed the shoulder he'd just jabbed with his fingers, "What was that for?!"

His mouth was slightly agape and, yeah, something was really wrong, he hadn't said a word and he always had a smart response to anything. I was actually starting to get worried. Something about his expression was... really vulnerable.

I opened my mouth to say... something, I hadn't quite figured it out yet, but before I could say or do anything, he took one final step forward, wrapping one arm around my shoulders to yank me into his chest while his other came up and rested on the back of my head.

All of which was really weird and something I would have called him out on if it weren't for the fact that I could now feel him _shaking_. He was trembling, head to toe, his face buried in my hair as he practically folded himself around me.

Now I was starting to get scared, "Sly?" I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his back, looking over his shoulder at Bentley, who looked just as confused and worried as I felt, "You're scaring me, what's wrong?"

He took in a deep, shuddering breath before letting it out. "You're alive... I... I thought..." he whispered, voice cracking.

Oh.

_Oh..._

Oh my _God_...

"Are you really here?" he breathed, sounding terrified, but resigned, almost expecting a negative answer.

I wrapped my arms far more tightly around him, squeezing as hard as I could to let him know that I was real, solid, not going to disappear.

Of _course_ something was wrong, I was such an idiot, such a complete and utter moron, of _course_ he wouldn't leave me like that, this was _Sly_. Oh my gosh, he had to have been in _hell_.

"It's okay," I said into his shoulder, running one hand up and down his back as he shook and holding onto him as tightly as I possibly could with the other, "I'm here, I'm real. I didn't know, I'm sorry, I'm so, _so_ sorry."

Bentley looked horrified and I knew he'd heard. I jerked my head toward the door and he quickly hurried Rioichi and Murray out, muttering about a job.

And then we were alone and Sly hadn't budged an inch and I was eighty percent sure he was actually crying, which was horrifying because I had _never_ seen Sly cry before.

"I'm okay," I continued to assure him, "I'm always okay, I'm the Queen of Okay. Actually, no, that's a terrible title, forget that title."

He let out a watery laugh, which only made me feel slightly better, and pulled back. And, yup, his eyes were wet, but he was smiling. He had his hands on my shoulders and squeezed them gently. "I can't believe you're here."

"I told you, you can't get rid of me."

"Promise?"

I rolled my eyes good-naturedly and plucked his hands from my shoulders, dragging him further into the Safehouse, "Come on, we clearly have some confusion to clear up."

* * *

So I made coffee and we talked.

It was hilariously surreal.

We were both sitting at the table, with me sitting sideways to it, as slouched as I could possibly get in my chair with my feet up on Sly's lap, him with his feet up on the table so we formed a sort of triangle of gravity-defiance and poor ideas.

In between me poking him in the stomach with my toes and him threatening to hold me down and tickle me until I passed out, we both somehow managed to get our stories told.

"Well, to be fair," I said after finding out he'd thought I was dead because Dr. M had told him as much, "The only reason I'm not dead is because Kristian jumped in after me."

"So he _is_ useful for something other than shooting at me."

"Shocking, I know. And here I was thinking you'd just seen your chance to run off into the sunset with Carmelita and took it."

Sly shook his head, "Nah. I mean, I flirted with her to keep up appearances, but I think she could tell something was wrong. Before I knew it, we were just... friends."

I bit the inside of my lip, "And that was... okay?"

"Yeah. It turned out to be pretty great, actually." He said with a soft smile.

"So!" I stretched out, twisting my right leg to pop my knee, "Are we still in the planning stages or does everyone already have a job to do that I can take a nap during?"

Sly gave me an amused eyebrow-raise, "You just drank three cups of coffee."

"Yeah and I've also been awake for the past thirty-two hours because no one in their right mind can sleep on a _train_."

Shaking his head at me, he gestured over his shoulder, "You can use my sleeping bag, we'll dig yours out later, I'm pretty sure it's crammed under all the new tech Bentley installed in the van."

"_Awesome_," You wouldn't think someone could trick out a sleeping bag, but Sly totally had. I was pretty sure he'd sewn a few extra layers of padding to the bottom, but could prove nothing. I took great joy in burrowing into it and not just because it smelled like coffee and wood polish and Sly, shut up.

"Are you going to kill us if we wake you up?"

"There is a distinct possibility."

I fell asleep to Sly's soft chuckles and a feeling of stability I hadn't had in a long time.

* * *

Bentley stalled as long as he possibly could before returning to the Safehouse with Murray (Rioichi had gone to his sushi shop to properly store the massive amounts of fish that they'd gathered).

As soon as they walked in, Sly put a finger to his lips and pointed to where Kaia was curled up in his sleeping bag, dead to the world.

Nodding, Murray tiptoed over to work on the arcade game while Bentley wheeled himself over to Sly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, wringing his hands, "I didn't know you thought... I should have said-"

"Bentley," Sly interrupted, a dazed smile on his face, "you have no idea how happy I am right now."

The turtle gave his friend a long, hard look. It was true, Sly looked better than he had since... since they were all on the pirate ship together, making their way to Kaine island.

"Good."

A groan came from over where Sly's sleeping bag was, "Well, that was fun while it lasted."

Amused, Sly turned to look at Kaia as she pulled herself out of the bag, "You got a couple of hours at least."

"Yes, that totally makes up for not sleeping for two days," Standing up appeared to be too much effort, so Kaia crawled over to where Murray was working on the arcade game and flopped down, using his rotund stomach as a pillow, "Hi, Murray."

"Hi, Kaia!" Murray probably would have hugged her if not for the fact that it looked like his hand was stuck in the arcade machine, "I'm glad you made it!"

"Me too, big guy."

Bentley nearly jumped when he noticed Rioichi had entered the hideout while they'd been talking. "That was fast."

Rioichi gave him an unimpressed look, "Speed is no matter for a ninja master."

Finally standing, Kaia stretched, "Okay, so what have I missed?"

"Pages of the Thievius Raccoonus disappearing, warlords time travelling, breaking Rioichi out of jail, and the reclaiming of a sushi restaurant." Bentley said succinctly.

"Fun. When can I get in the field?" Kaia talked right over Sly when he started to make a noise of protest, pointing at him, "No. I'm getting fieldwork. I'm not letting you wrap me in bubble wrap and leave me in the Safehouse."

Sly growled low in his throat before turning to Rioichi and gesturing to Kaia, "Do you happen to know of a _tower_ I can _lock her in_?"

"Leaving me in Japan is also out of the question."

"Kaia can go with Rioichi and Murray to the geisha house."

"Wha- _geisha house_!?"

"Yes, we're disguising Murray as Madame Geisha in order to get information from El Jefe, the warlord I mentioned earlier."

Blinking, Kaia rubbed at her heard, "Everything makes so much less sense when you miss the slideshows."

"If you think _that_ doesn't make sense," Sly motioned Kaia over so he could stage-whisper in her ear, "Bentley retired his projector."

"No!" she gasped, "Blasphemy!"

Bentley groaned, "My life was so much more peaceful when you two weren't in the same room."

"You love us, admit it."

"There's one problem," Kaia said, picking at her jeans, "Ritsuka packed my bag for me and didn't put any of my job clothes in it. I can't exactly run around doing jobs in jeans."

Sly, triumphant, looked like he was about to say something, but Rioichi spoke before he could. "I believe I can help with that."

Four pairs of eyes stared at him incredulously.

* * *

The gang is back together, so now we finally get to get started on the game proper! As always, check out the blog if you want and I'll see you all here same time in two weeks!


	3. The One With The Geishas

Sorry this is a little late, I got caught up with going to the movies and starting my first summer semester and also writing and I lost track of time. But we are here now! Enjoy!

* * *

"This is the best day _ever_." I grinned, looking down at myself. Honestly, I wasn't sure why Rioichi had a spare outfit in grey hanging around, but I wasn't complaining. I was wearing a _ninja outfit_.

I cackled, flipping the hood up and feeling my ears poke out the top.

Crouching down so only my eyes were visible over the table, I hissed at Sly, "_I am the night_."

He just smirked and shook his head, "You're going to be completely insufferable, aren't you?"

"Hey, you get to be a samurai, I get to be a ninja, it's only fair."

"Enough," Rioichi barked, "We must hurry, before El Jefe discovers Madame Geisha's absence."

"Right." I started to follow him and Murray out, but then spun on one heel and pointed at Sly, "_Stay_."

He held his hands up placatingly, "Would I willingly incur your wrath?"

"_Yes._ So much yes."

"Kaia-san!"

"Coming, Rioichi!" I gave Sly the 'I'm watching you' gestured before ducking out of the Safehouse and pulling up alongside Rioichi.

"I have sent Murray-san ahead to wait for us." Rioichi explained, crossing his arms and looking down at me, "I wished to determine your level of skill before we attempt our task."

I shrugged, "Fair enough." Honestly, I could use the warm-up. Sure, I'd been in gymnastics all this time, but I could very rarely find occasion to practice the moves I'd picked up from the Thievius Raccoonus.

Rioichi narrowed his eyes at me and gestured that I followed him, staying in the shadows and close to the ground. We reached a bridge and he quickly subdued the guard patrolling it, then turned to me.

"Bentley-san tells me you possess some of the same skills as Sly, though you perform them with less proficiency."

_Hey_.

True, but still.

"I would like to observe your skill in crossing thin objects," he gestured to the railing of the bridge.

Oh, that was easy. Charla had had me on the balance beams for three weeks straight a couple weeks back, perfecting my balance. With my practice with the Rail Walk and Rail Slide, I'd learned much more quickly that I would have otherwise.

The railing of the bridge was thinner than a balance beam, but I probably still could have done a cartwheel or something. I didn't, though, because I got the feeling Rioichi wouldn't approve of showing off.

Not to mention the bridge was spanning a shallow chasm with a river at the bottom and I didn't want to fall.

So I just walked quickly across and Rioichi nodded, apparently satisfied. Not that I could really tell, considering his face was about as expressive as a rock.

The next test was, surprise surprise, the Ninja Spire Jump. The target was the tip of a nearby chimney.

"Can I come down now?" I asked, hacking around a mouthful of smoke. Rioichi was studying my feet intensely. This could either have been because my form was bad (possible, unfortunately) or because I should have been complaining about the heat of the chimney. Honestly, I wasn't sure I'd have been able to feel the heat. After the laser incident in the Cooper Vault, the bottoms of my feet had large patches of this scar tissue that almost entirely destroyed their usual sensitivity.

Rioichi just nodded, though, and I joined him back down on the roof, "Your skills are adequate."

"Gee, tell me how you really feel."

"I do not give undeserved praise." He said, crossing over to the next rooftop to contact Bentley via binocucom.

I rolled my eyes, "Of course not."

Bentley reiterated the plan and he and Rioichi brainstormed on a point of entry. I scanned our surroundings, marveling at how clear the sky was and how weird it was to know I was actually five hundred years in the past.

Something caught my eyes on top of a far pagoda beyond the geisha house. I frowned, squinting at it, and reached for a binocucom that wasn't there. Scowling, I made a mental note to ask Bentley for mind back before getting distracted by Rioichi.

"Follow me." He ordered, leaping from the ledge and crossing to the geisha house roof quickly.

His job was to head inside and acquire the costume. Mine was to find a way to get Murray up onto the roof so he could drop down below.

I was starting to get the feeling he was still testing me.

It took some doing to get Murray up onto the roof. We had to create an elaborate configuration of barrels and especially-springy tarps; all while ducking the guards.

Seeing Rioichi's grudgingly impressed face when Murray came down the line right on cue, though, made it totally worth it.

Right up until the point where the line gave way and Murray crashed into the display case for the costume.

And things had been going so well, too...

So imagine my surprise when things _kept going well_.

As in, _Murray had all the guards drooling at his feet._

Having rappelled in after the hippo, I stood dumbstruck next to Rioichi before shaking my head and plucking the earbud out of his ear, "Bentley, Murray totally volunteered for this mission, didn't he?"

"How ever did you guess?"

I shook my head, handing the earbud back to Rioichi, "Shall we rob all the guards blind while we have this golden opportunity?"

The ninja gave a slight smug smile, "You are wiser than your age might suggest, Kaia-san."

* * *

"How'd it go?" Sly asked when we finally returned to the Safehouse, looking like he was completely absorbed in a map of the area. It was a lie of course, which was easily identified from the fact that he was staring very intently at a tree instead of, oh say, the Dragon Gate.

"Okay, but I'm never going to be able to look at Murray the same way again," I said with a shrug, watching Rioichi climb into a chair like he had no idea what its function was but figured it was _probably_ sitting, "Also, I need a binocucom."

Bentley swung himself out of the van, wheelchair and all, and held one aloft, "Working on it! Need to sync it up with the rest of them, but then it'll be all yours."

"I love you best."

"You really should have grabbed one before you headed out," Sly said, giving up on the map and flopping back into his chair.

"Don't I know it. Binocucoms make the world go 'round."

"I do not believe that is the case," Rioichi said dubiously, running a finger along the edge of one of his knives in a way that was vaguely threatening.

"Okay," Bentley interrupted before I could enlighten Rioichi about the wonders of hyperbole, "Let's get back on topic here. Rioichi- I have a plan to get us to El Jefe, but it hinges on drugging the guards with your sushi. There's a plant we can use to help us with that near the secret fishing hole you use. I'll contact you with more details when you get there."

"Hai, Bentley-san."

If I hadn't been watching Rioichi leave, I never would have noticed he did. He was kind of disturbingly quiet that way.

Bentley set the binocucom by his laptop and hooked the binocucom up to it, "After this software update, your binocucom should be ready to go."

"I look forward to it," I said, pulling up a chair and sitting on it backwards.

"Can I count on you two to play nice while I go spy on El Jefe with my RC car?"

"Nah, we're gonna storm the castle cause we got bored- is your car dressed like a chicken?"

"I'm going to pretend that was a yes." Bentley rolled his eyes and himself out of the Safehouse.

I shook my head, "It will never cease to amaze me the amount of ideas he comes up with that sound ridiculous, but actually turn out to work perfectly."

"And the ones that sound totally fool-proof crash and burn?"

"Exactly!" I flashed him a grin. Shaking his head, Sly stared at the map and I watched something come over his face before his eyes flicked back to me and had to ask, "What is it?"

He took a kind of shuddery breath, "It's like... you're sitting in front of me, but it's so hard to believe you're really here, y'know? I mean, I spent all that time thinking..."

There was absolutely nothing I could possibly say to that, so I just moved my chair right up against his, kicked my feet up on top of his, and pulled Bentley's laptop to sit on our laps so we could eavesdrop on his spying.

We made fun of both El Jefe's and Bentley's tendency to talk to themselves until Sly's face lost some of that brittle look and I made a mental note to not mind too much if he was especially tactile over the next few days.

* * *

"It is just not fair that you wear a kimono better than me," I grumbled, crossing my arms and staring Murray down.

Sly raised his hand, "Um, we've never seen you in a kimono, so if you want to go get one I'm sure the rest of us can be the judge of that."

I opened my mouth to retort but was cut off by Murray.

"There is no need for such a contest, friends! It would only reduce Kaia's morale!"

After staring blankly for a few seconds I managed a, very dry, "Thanks, Murray."

Rioichi, who'd given up on sitting in his chair and was now perched atop it attempting to catch flies with chopsticks, snickered. I shot him a glare and he pretended to have done no such thing.

"Alright guys, if we can focus now?" Bentley wheeled in, dropping my binocucom in my lap. I made an embarrassingly high pitched noise and cradled it to my chest while he set up a monitor and pulled a tablet onto his lap.

"Oh, is this the new slideshow thing?"

"Yes, and I'm going to get through it without you interrupting me for once."

"You just keep telling yourself that."

Bentley glared and I just grinned widely at him, "_Anyway_," he said, opening up a program we could all see, "Time for Operation: Altitude Sickness. We have all the intel we need. El Jefe has played dictator for the last time and it's time to bring him down! First, we need to open those Dragon Gates. Thanks to Rioichi's special sushi rolls, the guards are out for the count-"

"Don't you mean 'down for the count'?"

"- Sly, you'll need to gain access to the switches in their mouths. Next we'll need to open the palace sword gate. However, the bridge is crawling with guards, so we'll need to create a diversion. Murray, you, Sly, Kaia, and myself will need to distract the guards, once they're occupied, Rioichi can make his way under the bridge to the switch and open the gate. Once we get that gate open, there's nothing to stop us from taking the palace and putting El Jefe in his place! Viva la Revolution!"

"That was kind of lackluster for you," Sly said, smirking over his folded arms at me.

I shrugged, "I've been out of the game for a while, I'm a bit rusty."

"For which I am very thankful." Bentley said, messing around on his tablet, probably creating destinations in the binocucom map, "Kaia, you go with Sly to the Dragon Gates. I want to make sure your binocucom is all synced up and a place where the guards are drugged into unconsciousness is probably the safest place for that to happen."

I nodded and jumped to my feet. I was all for the non-dangerous missions.

Sly stretched, standing as well, "Alright, let's see how out of practice you are."

I opened my mouth to correct him at first, but then let it drop closed. Surprising people was much more fun than correcting their misconceptions.

"Yes, let's."

* * *

"Okay, so, did you sell your soul or something since I saw you last?" Sly asked, leaning over the edge of the arch he was standing on to look down at me as I climbed up the bamboo to get there easily, "Because that would explain a lot."

"I really thought you'd learned your lesson about underestimating me Sly," I said, laying a hand over my heart and pitching my voice dramatically, "It pains me to know you think so little of me."

"Alright, you two, can we get on with the mission?"

"Spoilsport," Sly complained, but he was smiling as he pick-pocketed and stealth-slammed the only conscious guard in front of the Dragon Gates.

Stepping around the unconscious guards I looked at the chains that traveled from the dragons' mouths to the rollers in front of them, "Lemme guess, we have to have someone on the rollers and someone to get the switches?"

"I really don't think you need me to answer that."

I glanced over at Sly, but he just gave me that 'what are you looking at me for?' shrug and grin of his and said, "Hey, I'm the one with the fireproof armor."

"Yeah, armor that's _three sizes _too big for you," I muttered, but hopped onto the roller anyway and caught the key when Sly threw it to me.

He leaned against the roller while I unlocked it, "I haven't seen one of these things since I was eighteen."

"Well, we _are_ back in time."

"She said with absolutely no sense of irony whatsoever." He smirked, but hefted his shield and went to hit the switches to open the Dragon Gates.

Bentley, Murray, and Rioichi had been waiting nearby to join us and did so when they saw the gates open. Sly and Rioichi nodded to each other in greeting, but I found myself staring at Murray again.

"Murray, don't get me wrong, you look great in the kimono, but do you really think it's a good idea to wear it into a fight?"

"Of course!" he bellowed, "Those chumps won't be expecting 'The Most Famous Madame Geisha' to have fists of steel!"

I glanced over at Bentley, who shook his head and waved me closer so he could hiss in my ear, "Just don't question it, he'll change eventually."

"Okay, so can we head up to the mountain now or do you two want to continue whispering sweet nothings to each other?"

Just for that, I waited until Sly turned around and pounced onto his back, wrapping my arms and legs around his torso in a way I'd learned from the especially clingy Tate.

"Hey! What-"

"You must carry Madame Zeroni up the mountain to atone for your mockery." I said in the most serious voice I could manage.

He grumbled, but wrapped his arms under my legs so I wouldn't slip or accidentally choke him, "At least it's more recent than 'The Land Before Time'."

Rioichi looked like he was just mortified to know all of us.

* * *

We made it up the mountain to the palace and I was just about to make a crack about the giant tiger statue when out of the ravine rose-

"Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!"

"Ow!" Sly leaned away as much as he could with me still hanging onto him, "_What_?"

"A blimp! Another bad guy has a blimp! That's it, I quit." I jumped off Sly and turned to go back down the mountain, "Goodbye, friends. I am gone."

He caught my hood without looking, nearly clothes-lining me when he yanked me to a halt, "Bentley, that symbol on the underside-"

"Yup," Bentley confirmed, "It's the same one from the museum and the computer terminal I had to hack to get access to the secret fishing hole."

"So El Jefe's boss is probably up in that blimp?" Murray asked.

"That's what it looks like," Sly swung his cane up on his shoulder, tapping it idly, "Who wants a closer look?"

"Is that an actual question? Because if we're going to vote on it-"

We didn't vote on it, Sly just tugged extra hard on my hood until I started walking with them.

I had to admit, if it weren't for the war criminal and his mysterious 'boss', I would be seriously enjoying the scenery. It was all _gorgeous_. So was the palace if, y'know, I ignored how it had been built.

This musing lasted until we got to the bridge and saw El Jefe standing on the other side of it.

"You know, we really should have expected this. Opening the Dragon Gates wasn't exactly subtle."

Bentley pointedly rolled his chair over my foot.

Sly took the lead, because Sly always took the lead, it was a law of the universe or something.

El Jefe didn't wait for us to get close, though, "Haha, end of the line, Cooper! Get them, you fools!" The palace gate slammed in front of the tiger just as rat troops started parachuting down from the blimp.

"Okay, you all know what to do... time to kick some butt!" Bentley shouted. I'd have been concerned about him if I didn't know that his wheelchair could probably count as a WMD of some kind.

"My favorite time of the day!" Murray crowed.

Rioichi shot off to the side and I wondered for a second if he was going to ditch us before he paused in slipping over the side of the bridge to give Sly a salute and I knew he was going for the switch under the bridge.

"More guards than I was expecting," Sly mused.

"Ten bucks says I take more of them out than you," it wasn't as stupid a bet as it could have been. Living with Ahanu and Ritsuka, while fun, was like living with paranoid conspiracy theorists. Ahanu had put me through more fighting training than I thought strictly necessary. I was just starting to understand that he'd been planning on me rejoining the Cooper gang from the start and had wanted me to be as prepared as possible.

Sly shot me an incredulous look and, seeing I was serious, shook his head with a laugh, "Let's do this!"

It turned out that Murray actually did most of the fighting, big surprise. This made a lot of sense, though, as he could hit three rats with one punch and the rats he _did_ hit had a tendency to fly back into other rats like a violent line of dominoes.

I got in a few good hits, though, aiming for non-lethal areas. It was satisfying in a way that probably said something about my mental state.

"Kaia, heads up!"

I jerked my head up just in time to see Bentley lob a bomb towards me. Reacting on reflex, I switched to a two-handed hold on my baton and swung it like a baseball bat, sending the bomb flying into the parachute of a descending rat troop.

"That was the last of them," Sly skidded to a stop next to me, "My final tally was thirteen."

"Oh right. We were supposed to be counting."

"You owe me ten bucks by default."

I stuck my tongue out at him, but didn't comment further. I'd gotten in a few good hits, but I'd also taken a couple and I was too busy taking mental stock of whether or not the adrenaline was keeping me from feeling something serious.

Murray had piled the rat troops into an incredibly malodorous piled and Bentley was having his robotic arms give him a massage when the gate opened up and Rioichi flipped up over the railing. Sly grinned and we followed him into the palace.

It all happened so quickly. Rioichi was in the lead, a good distance ahead of the rest of us (defying long held convention of making Sly go first) when El Jefe dropped from the archway above. He was twice Rioichi's size and had no problem first flattening him, then lifting him one-handed by the throat.

"HA!" The tiger snatched the cane out of Rioichi's grasp, easily thwarting the ninja's attempts to reclaim it, "It's mine!"

We barely had time to stop running before El Jefe threw Rioichi at us- I nearly tripped over him.

Rioichi hardly seemed phased by the fairly spectacular beating, he shot up, his priorities clear, "My cane!"

El Jefe tucked the cane into some straps on his back, pulled out two katana, and-

"What!?" I turned to Bentley, who didn't appear to have any more answers than I did. I asked my questions anyway, "How does cutting wood with a katana set it on fire and destroy the bridge?"

Bentley just rolled his eyes heavenward, like he was pleading to a variety of deities for physics to be reinstated as the rulebook for reality.

"Sorry, Cooper!" El Jefe shouted as Sly pulled Rioichi to his feet, "You lose! I need to deliver this puny stick to a new owner!"

Bentley ran his hands over the wheels of his chair restlessly, "He's getting away!"

"Don't worry, Rioichi. Watch after these three- I'm going to kick some tiger tail and get your cane back!"

If I'd wanted to, I probably could have made some kind of case about the benefits of me going along with Sly. But the facts were that he was still far better than me at most everything and climbing across burning wood to face a mercenary general with fire-generating katanas was kind of completely out of my league.

Instead, I settled for saying, "Be careful, Sly. Remember Rajan? Don't let this be like Rajan. You got struck by lightning."

He looked surprised that I wasn't going to nag him to come along, but relieved too, "Yeah, that's not something I'm likely to forget anytime soon."

And then he was off.

Sly had barely made it through the next massive set of gates (I was sensing a theme) before the bridge completely collapsed.

I just sort of stared at it for a second. "We're going to have to do something about that, aren't we?"

"Yup." Bentley said, already looking back and forth between the two sides of the chasm, like he was trying to figure out the best place to secure ropes.

"Fantastic."

"Kaia?"

"Mmm?"

"How good are you with grappling hooks?"

"Is there a negative skill level?"

The turtle sighed, getting out his crossbow, "That's what I thought."

* * *

Rioichi was the brave soul who walked across the rope Bentley had managed to fire across the chasm and secure with about a dozen darts. As he said, he was a ninja master and such a task was simple for him.

He was just tying the rope more tightly when the blimp overhead started emitting some truly horrible noises then just- vanished in a flash of blue.

"Bentley," I started carefully, seeing his almost-comical gape, "Did the blimp just do the time-travel thing?"

"Uh-huh."

"Good to know."

Bentley opened up some kind of holographic program and started typing furiously into it, leaving Murray and I to exchange worried glances until Sly came back through the gates across the bridge.

We couldn't hear what he said to Rioichi, but the body language and distinct lack of Rioichi's cane made it painfully clear. The ninja looked really disappointed at first before Sly said something emphatically, prompting Rioichi to visibly shake off the displeasure. By the time they joined the rest of us, both raccoons seemed okay.

"What happened?" I asked, seeing as Bentley was still muttering to himself.

Sly retold the fight ("Lighting? Seriously, are he and Rajan _related_?") and explained how he'd nearly gotten Rioichi's cane back before he had to dive out of the way of a grenade.

"Then the rat-troopers dropped in, grabbed the cane, and got pulled back up before I could do anything." He reached into his leg pouch and pulled out something shiny, "One of them dropped this. Think it'll help Bentley?"

"Is that a Sheriff's star?"

Bentley snatched it before I could, "It definitely looks like it! This might show us where they're heading! I'll start programming it into the time machine right away!"

"You must rest before you go," Rioichi said firmly, "Even the strongest of trees requires water."

"Does this mean we can try some more of your sushi?" Murray asked, even as Sly was opening his mouth.

"I believe that can be arranged."

"I'm actually curious about this," I admitted to Sly as we started to make our way back towards the Safehouse and sushi restaurant, "I've never tried sushi."

Rioichi twitched and shot me a look that wasn't quite horrified but wanted to be and I mentally braced myself for an evening of being forced to try probably every kind of sushi he'd developed.

I was not disappointed.

* * *

Rioichi made us all stick around until we ate something and slept and he was seriously starting to remind me of a crotchety mother hen in the weirdest way.

Then, of course, there came the task of getting El Jefe back to the present.

"No."

"Jinx-"

"No."

"Kaia, if you just-"

"No. Buckets of no. Heaps upon heaps of no. A song of fire in the land of no. I can comprise an ode to no, if that would make the situation clearer."

As El Jefe had been stranded on a platform by his massive statue, we had to go get him. As Bentley had apparently _outfitted the van to fly_ since I'd seen it last, they were just planning on circling the platform until Bentley pumped El Jefe full of enough sedatives to knock him out, then pick the tiger up, hop back to the present, and drop him off.

However, as someone with an extremely dislike of heights and a serious problem with motion sickness, I wasn't too keen on joining them for this little adventure in a flying van.

"Look," I said, as Bentley opened his mouth to try again. I walked over to my backpack and pulled out the belt he'd left behind for me, "Why don't I stay here for a few hours, then put this on and meet you guys in the 1880's?"

When we'd contacted Dimitri, he said that Tennessee "Kid" Cooper's pages were disappearing, which meant we were going back to the Old West, which, ever so conveniently, was where the Sheriff's badge was from. I was pretty dubious that was coincidental.

I didn't know a whole lot about Kid, just what I'd read in the Thievius Raccoonus, so I didn't really know what to expect. I wasn't particularly hopeful, though. Not for any reason in particular, just that the law of averages seemed to indicate that at least _one_ of Sly's ancestors had to be a jerk.

It helped to keep my expectations as low as possible. That way, I'd either be right or pleasantly surprised.

"That... could work," Bentley admitted grudgingly.

"C'mon," I wheedled, "The last thing you want me to do is have a panic attack or puke on all your valuable electronics."

The turtle grimaced at the thought. Sly sighed and turned to Rioichi, "Will you make sure she stays out of trouble?"

"Sly, what do you think I'm going to _do_? Burn the geisha house to the ground? Or better yet, con the geishas into helping me take over Japan?"

"It seems to be in the best interest of the region for me to do so," Rioichi said in response to Sly, giving me a side-eye of suspicion.

"Seriously you guys. I'm glad you have this much faith in my abilities to incite rebellion, but I don't need a babysitter."

"Kaia-san should be able to aid me in revitalizing the sushi shop while she waits."

I squinted at Rioichi, who seemed smug without actually moving a facial muscle, "I'm not going to like this, am I?"

* * *

I didn't like it.

"My fingers are going to be pruny for the rest of _time_," I grumbled to myself, setting aside the last knife I'd had to wash. Rioichi had a _lot_ of knives and they all, apparently, had to be washed in thousand degree water.

But on the bright side, it had now been long enough that I could escape before Rioichi tried to get me to wash anything else.

"Kaia-san."

Oh for the love of-

Rioichi set a small box on the table by my elbow, "I would be obliged if you would deliver this to Murray-san. I'm certain he has already made his way through the sushi I gave him before he left."

Oh. That was probably true. "Sure," I took the little box and set it carefully in my backpack before shouldering the bag and picking up the belt.

Rioichi was still hovering, like he wanted to say something, but didn't think it dignified for a 'master ninja' to say. It wasn't hard to guess.

"Don't worry," I said with a grin, fastening the belt around my waist, "We'll be back with your cane in no time."

"Master ninjas do not 'worry', Kaia-san." A little tension had seeped out of his shoulders, though, so I counted it as a win.

"Of course they don't." My mental count-down for the belt's activation told me it would be any second now, so I waved my fingers at the ninja, "Sayonara, Rioichi!"

A humoring smile came to his lips and he gave a small bow, "Sayonara, Kaia-san."

The belt jerked around my waist and I found myself in the Time Vortex again.

* * *

That's all for tonight, folks, but I know what you're all thinking and _yes_, we will get Tennessee in the next chapter! Hope you enjoyed and, as always, feel free to check out the blog!


	4. The One With The Petty Vandalism

Well I'm going to win the award for 'most tired person ever', but I am happy to bring you your regularly scheduled chapter! I know you're all here for Tennessee, so don't let me hold you up. Enjoy!

* * *

This trip didn't last nearly as long, probably because I didn't have nearly as long to travel.

I sprawled across a hot surface because _landing_ after time-jumping could apparently not be done with style.

"That was graceful."

I groaned, spat out some of the dirt I'd inhaled, and glared up at Sly, who was crouched in front of me, grinning. I'd apparently landed nearer to the van this time than I had before. "I just jumped four centuries, Sly. I think a little grace can be forgiven."

Sly helped me up and I looked around, spotting the van, Bentley, and Murray, "Huh, I landed much closer this time." We looked to be in the middle of a desert canyon area. It was pretty sparse of any vegetation besides cacti, despite the fact that I could see a river a ways down in one of the canyons.

"Any injuries?"

"Other than to my pride? No."

"Good. We have bad news."

"That was fast."

Bentley rolled up to us and handed me a wanted poster, "Tennessee was arrested. That bank heist he pulled that was in the Thievius Raccoonus? Someone interrupted it. The local Sheriff has him locked up tight."

"I really hope this is an artist's rendering and not a photograph."

Sly tilted his head in confusion, "Why?"

I held up the wanted poster, "Because he is _ridiculously_ attractive."

He gave me a blank look.

I shrugged, "Hey, you flirt with anything in a skirt when they aren't actively trying to kill you and sometimes even when they are, I think I'm allowed to say, objectively speaking, that one of your ancestors is particularly good looking."

Bentley seemed to be having some kind of aneurysm trying not to laugh, "I've located an abandoned clock tower we can use as a Safehouse, we should make our way there."

We skirted a small... town? I didn't really know if it could be called a town, but I had no idea what else it could be called- to get to the clock tower. Unlike many Safehouses of old, this one actually had stairs to get to the entrance instead of necessitating a climb or cleverly-disguised trampoline/entrance, so it wasn't as big a chore as usual to get all of Bentley's tech inside.

By the time Murray lugged up the last box, Bentley had a holographic layout of the prison Tennessee was being kept in rotating slowly in front of him.

"I have good news and bad news," Bentley said immediately, pulling out a pointer.

"This never ends well," I dropped into a chair next to Sly and kicked my feet up on top of his.

He twitched, which I decided meant he agreed with me and didn't want to admit it, "What's the good news?"

"After carefully analyzing the blueprints, I've come up with a way to get Tennessee out of prison."

"And the bad news?" I asked, fiddling with my baton.

"It has to be done from the inside."

Dead silence.

"Called it!"

"So let me get this straight," Sly said, "I have to get arrested?"

"I know, I know, it's gonna be hard. But they're already rigging a noose for Tennessee, we don't have time for a complicated plan!"

"I trust you Bentley, but I'm not sure about getting locked up in this town."

"Sorry, Sly. But it's the only way to reach Tennessee in time. We don't have the luxury of doing a lot of recon and coming up with a better plan."

"Wait a sec," I interjected, "I thought Tennessee was a bank robber, why are they hanging him?"

"Kaia, we're in the eighteen hundreds. They take bank robbery very seriously."

"Yeah, I got that impression from the ten _thousand _dollar reward! How much is that with inflation?"

"About two hundred and thirty-four thousand dollars, give or take."

I let out a low whistle.

Sly pinched the bridge of his nose, "Bentley. How am I supposed to go about getting arrested?"

"Well..." Bentley started, leading me to believe there was another piece of bad news he'd totally failed to mention, "That's the other thing. They're holding Kid Cooper in the Maximum Security wing. To get yourself in there, you're going to need to get 'Outlaw' status. So you're going to need to build a rep before they catch you. Otherwise, they'll throw you in with the common criminals."

"Ugh, you mean like jaywalkers and litterbugs? Not gonna happen."

"Well, around these parts it's more like goat thieves and tobacco spitters, but you get the point."

"How did this become my life?" I muttered to Murray, "I used to be a fairly respectable member of society."

"Yeah, but this is more fun."

Bentley looked at some notes he'd scribbled down and said, "For starters, why don't you try defacing all those posters of the sheriff around town? That ought to put a _burr_ under his _saddle_... get it? Because we're in the Old West?"

I sighed loudly. Sly coughed and gave Bentley a look.

"... Anyway, I'll just let you get started."

"See you in a few." Sly swung his cane up onto his shoulder and strode out of the Safehouse.

Bentley nodded to himself and pushed his laptop my way, "Kaia, man the Binocucom feed. Murray and I are going to do recon."

"I thought you said we didn't have time for recon?" I said, but was already pulling the laptop closer.

"We don't have time for a lot of it, but Sly's getting arrested. So I'm going to make as much time as possible to make as good a plan as I can to get him out the best way possible."

I nodded and put on the headset.

* * *

"_Sly, where did you even _get_ all that paint_?"

When Jinx's voice came over the binocucom, Sly couldn't help but give a small smile. Sure, he didn't have to have her in sight at all times to believe she was alive any more, but it was still a huge relief to hear her, "You'd be surprised what that replicator Bentley rigged in the back of the van can come up with."

"_Replicator? Like, Star Trek? Is that where Murray keeps getting all the food?_"

"I can't believe you didn't know that."

"_Hey, when you're done getting arrested, I'm going to make about fifteen grilled cheese sandwiches just because I can_."

"Sounds about right," Sly said, coming to the first poster and cracking open the paint cans, "Find a poster, make it look goofy, and move on." He let out a nostalgic sigh, "Just like Junior High."

"... _Why am I surprised you were a delinquent_?"

"Got me. I was a bored, maladjusted teenager. I don't know why you thought any different."

But it was kind of flattering.

He hopped across the tracks to the next poster, snorting at it, "Wow, I bet the original artist damaged his vision looking at this guy..."

* * *

"This guy specially orders _bean and rice_ lollipops from _Cuba_ and they made him the Sheriff?"

Bentley rolled his eyes, "This is the Old West, they probably didn't do it through democracy."

"He left those lollipops unguarded, on a platform, in an _open case_."

"_Hey it makes my job easier._" Sly said over the binocucom as he swiped the lollipops, "_I'm sure Murray'll like this lollipop._"

"Great job!" Bentley said, "You just became a 'criminal', Sly!"

"Because he definitely wasn't that before."

"Alright," Bentley said as Sly climbed to a rock outcropping near the train bridge, "This is going perfectly! You'll be locked up in no time!"

"_You know, you're a _little _too excited about sending me to the slammer, Bentley._"

"It's all about the job, Sly," Bentley insisted primly, "Speaking of which, in case you hadn't noticed, this Sheriff Toothpick is his own biggest fan."

"It's kinda hard to miss, what with all the banners and posters and everything."

"_Yeah. You'd think _initiating_ the celebration of yourself would take some of the fun out of it, but he doesn't seem to mind._"

"He really doesn't." Bentley agreed, "In fact, it looks like he's throwing himself a festival and it's in full swing! If you take that banner down, I'm sure it'll be the final straw."

"Why do the bad guys always have really immature reactions to taunts?" I wondered aloud.

"_Let's go rain on this guy's parade_." Sly chirped, running off to do just that.

It took Sly less than five minutes to take down the banner. Even from the other end of the microphone, we could hear Toothpick's enraged shouts.

"He is very loud for such a small person."

"I concur."

"_So, they're coming my way. Do I just... stand still? Let them catch me? How do people get caught anyway?_"

Bentley sighed, "At least _look_ like you're trying to get away. And stash your gear somewhere, we'll find a way to get it to you in the prison."

"_You got it_."

Sly signed off and despite the fact that everything was going to plan, I couldn't help but be a little worried for him.

Then I saw the look Bentley was throwing my way and started to get a little worried for _me_, "What?"

"I couldn't help but notice you've gotten better at climbing."

"... So?"

* * *

I didn't really mind the desert heat too much. I'd gone to summer camp in Texas for six weeks every year since I was eight, so I was actually kind of used to it.

What I did mind was climbing up a tall tower, over a cliff, with just climbing hooks and hope, in said heat.

"Bentley," I hissed into the binocucom mic, "I am going to get heat stroke and _die_."

"You are not, keep climbing."

"If I die, Tate gets all my stuff, you get nothing."

"I'll be sure to archive that sentiment."

I was pretty close to the barred windows now and I could hear Sly.

"My friends are working on that... I hope."

Rolling my eyes, I latched my climbing hook around one of the bars and used it to pull myself up to the window. I could see Sly easily, but he was blocking the rest of the room with a giant ball and chain, "Thanks for the vote of confidence. By the way, loving the outfit."

Sly refused to even jump at my appearance, choosing instead to lift his hands, "What can I say? I look good in stripes."

"Son, who're you talkin' t- oh."

Tennessee had pushed his way around Sly and was staring at me and I had just enough time to think 'crap, it really was a photograph, wasn't it?' before he whipped off his hat and held it against his chest.

"Howdy there, ma'am. Pleased to meet ya!" He greeted with a charming smile.

Part of me was incredulous, but the other part thought this was hilariously amazing and that was the part that took over, "I'm sure the pleasure is all mine."

"Wow, okay, this makes me really uncomfortable. Can I have my gear?" Sly asked, a touch desperately, "You two can get better acquainted later."

"Spoilsport," I carefully shrugged off my backpack, which I'd stuffed full of Sly's gear after I located it and strapped his cane to, "I'll see you guys back at the Safehouse. Try not to get shot or otherwise horribly killed."

"You can count on us!"

"Now..." I muttered to myself as Sly broke down the wall of the tower, "How do I get down?"

* * *

Climbing up something is always the easiest part. Getting back down is something else entirely. I took my sweet, sweet time getting down, all at once hyperaware of both how high up I was, and the sound of pretty much every single alarm in the prison going off at once.

The sun was setting by the time I got my feet firmly planted on solid ground. This was good because, since the air was so dry, the setting sun took most of the heat with it and the sunset was something to die for. It was also bad because I could already feel a chill start to come in and, if I didn't hurry, it was going to be dark before I got back to the Safehouse.

I knew Sly and Tennessee had a massive head start, I'd seen them glide out across the river, they were fine. They probably hadn't taken a direct route back to the Safehouse, though, if they knew what was good for them. Bentley would have been _livid_.

I liked the current Safehouse. It was easy to spot and there were plenty of ways to get there that didn't force you to sneak around guards. It wasn't long at all before I was jogging up the steps and slipping inside.

"A plus plus on the impromptu jailbreak, Bentley," I threw the turtle a thumbs-up.

He tried not to look too pleased with himself. I had no idea why he even attempted modesty anymore. He was probably more proud of the gang's reputation even than Sly and everyone knew it.

A noise from above us sounded suspiciously like two raccoons tumbling in through the window, "That's probably them."

"You don't say," Bentley drawled, looking up as Sly and Tennessee scrambled down the ladder to join the rest of us in front of the mass of moving gears that made up the clock face.

"Tennessee, this is the gang: Bentley, Murray, and Jinx," Sly said, pointing to each of us in turn.

"Sly, _that's not my name_." I rolled my eyes, stepping forward and offering my hand, "Kaia Jenks. Nice to meet you. Please don't fall into Sly's bad habits."

Tennessee chuckled slightly, taking his hat off again and reaching out to take my hand, "My pleasure, ma'am."

I was expecting him to shake my hand, not kiss it, but I guess that made sense given the time period. Plus, the weird little twitches Sly was doing out of the corner of my eye were hilarious.

"Tennessee," Bentley said, coming to the rescue, "I'd like to hear your side of the story of your capture."

Tennessee snarled, dropping his hat back on his head, "_Toothpick_," he growled, with utter hatred, "that low-down, no good-"

He ranted for a while, which was perfectly entertaining given his repertoire of colloquialisms, but I got distracted by Sly sidling up to me with a weird look on his face, "What?"

"What was _that_?"

I blinked at him in confusion, rewound the last few minutes in my head, didn't find anything weird, then did it a couple of more times just to make sure, "Wh- oh, you mean the hand thing?" I raised an eyebrow, "What were you expecting me to do, smack him?"

"_Yes_."

I was legitimately surprised by his certainty, then remembered that he'd really never seen me interact with anyone outside of the gang, "It's the time period, Sly. I swear, it's like you forget I'm not asexual."

He spluttered while I sauntered back over to the table and plopped down, which was weird and funny, and told me that I had a whole new and exciting way to mess with him now. I knew it didn't mean anything of course, I'd learned that last year. And I'd made my peace with it. I wasn't even sure I _had_ feelings for him anymore, but I wasn't going to look at it too hard. That way lay madness, too much chocolate, and Doctor Who marathons, as I'd figured out last time. It had been a sucky lesson so my plan was to just stomp down any and all feelings into the deepest, darkest part of my soul where only the bravest dare enter.

And I was by no means brave.

"... arrested me 'fore I even got to the bank!" Wow, Tennessee was still going, "An' then- then! The bank got robbed anyway! And guess who got blamed, even though he was already in jail?"

"Uh... you?" Murray ventured.

Tennessee just stared at the hippo for a second before apparently deciding to roll with the fact that Murray didn't always get rhetorical questions, "Darn right! And it's not like any lawman would put in a word for me, so it was straight to the noose. 'Till y'all showed up, that is," he tipped his hat gratefully.

"Did you tell anyone when and where you were going to pull the heist?" Sly asked, pulling up a chair beside me and sitting on it backwards.

"'Course not! But you mark my words, it's Toothpick that's got the gold stashed away somewhere."

"That seems completely likely," Bentley said, fingers flying over his laptop, "Since the tech in the prison told us he was from our time, I looked up Toothpick's Interpol file."

"Good reading?" Sly asked, propping his chin on his folded arms.

"The best. Got everything from medical records to psych evals in here." Bentley turned his computer around so we could all see what was on it. "Says here Toothpick's actually a two-bit gangster from Eastern Europe. Grew up on cowboy movies and masterminded some of the greatest gold heists of our time period. Seems like he always fancied himself a gunslinger."

Sly pulled the laptop closer and started going through the psych evals. He let out a low whistle, "We're gonna have to be careful, this guy sounds like a real loose cannon."

"Uh, someone wanna fill me in on how that box is doin' that?"

The look on Sly's face when he realized he'd totally forgot to fill Tennessee on the whole 'we're from the future' thing should have been photographed and framed, it was so priceless.

Bentley sighed, "Well, this should be entertaining. Kaia, want to give Kid the cliffnotes?"

"Heheh, sure," I spun in my chair to face Tennessee, "Okay, you know the Thievius Raccoonus?"

"'Course I do."

"Alright. We're from a hundred and thirty years in the future, give or take. Sly," I jerked a thumb in the raccoon's direction, "Is your descendant. He inherited the Thievius Raccoonus. One day the writing on the pages for certain Coopers just up and vanishes. Bentley here, the brains of our operation, figures out something is messing with time so those pages never got written. Your pages disappeared, so we knew something had happened to you. So, we hopped into our handy dandy time machine and came back in time to figure out what was messing up the past. We've got lots of neat technology you've never seen before, but will almost certainly like. Got all that?"

He thought on it for a second, "Sure."

"Awesome," I turned back around and gave Bentley a thumbs up, "Okay, we're good."

The turtle twitched slightly, presumably my 'oversimplication of the facts' was killing part of his soul again, but continued nevertheless, "Right. Well, obviously the first order of business will be to steal back Tennessee's guns."

"Well, actually," Kid piped up, "It's just the one gun now. I upgraded. But yeah, I need my shootin' iron back!"

"Agreed," Bentley nodded, "I'm checking some sources right now to uncover the gun's location. I should have answers by morning."

"Okay, so, just for clarification, does that mean we actually get to sleep? At nighttime?" I asked.

"Yes, Kaia, though I have full faith you could sleep any time and any place you wanted to," Someone put on their sassy pants today.

"Just checking. Hey Sly?"

"Mmm?"

"I'm stealing your sleeping bag."

"Ok- wait no!"

* * *

Someone was poking me awake. I briefly considered biting them, but that seemed to be too much effort, so I just grunted and flapped a few fingers in their general direction.

"Come on, missy, up and at 'em. Everyone else is downstairs already."

I froze for a good second before I could process who that voice belonged to and groaned when I realized the subsequent adrenaline rush and the light coming in the window were going to keep me from going back to sleep, "'d they dare you to come up here?"

"Naw, but they were laughin' so I guessed this was pretty dangerous business," Tennessee chuckled as I yawned and stretched, popping sleep-stiff joints, "Don't know what the big joke was. You're just like a cat curled up in the sun."

"Yeah, well I'm part cat, so that makes sense," Looking down at the mess of bedding under me, I found myself trying to solve the mystery of whether Sly had somehow managed to dump me out of his sleeping bag onto my own or if I'd just migrated there by myself. The sleeping bags were right next to each other and kind of tangled together, so it was difficult to tell.

"Figured y' might be," Kid Cooper smirked when I looked up at him in surprise, tapping the corner of his eye, "It's the eyes. My ma always said, no matter what mix you are, it can't be hid if you know what to look for, so you gotta own it. I'm part coyote myself." My mouth fell open in surprise, but he was already scampering down the ladder, "C'mon down or we're gonna start without ya!"

Scrubbing at my eyes, I untangled my leg from Sly's sleeping bag and tugged on my shoes before following Tennessee down the ladder much more slowly.

"Good of you to join us," Bentley said from the table. I just yawned and flapped a hand at him before making my way toward the van to get breakfast.

"So, what's the plan, Bentley?" Sly asked, feet up on the table and hands curled around a cup that had probably once contained coffee, but was currently empty and being stared at with a vague sense of betrayal by the raccoon. I mixed milk and sugar into a mug of my own and sat it on the table a fair distance from his boots before returning to the van to acquire a bagel.

Bentley looked up to make sure I was paying attention to the slideshow before beginning, "According to my sources, Toothpick shut this old gold mine down several months ago, declaring it 'unsafe'. In fact, he's converted it into a storage facility for his stolen goods, including Tennessee's gun-"

"That is _not_ coffee." For once it wasn't me who interrupted Bentley's slideshow, but Sly. He was glaring at my mug like it had personally wronged him.

I rolled my eyes, dropping into the chair next to him and snatching my mug back, "That's because it's _tea_. Good to finally know who the mysterious coffee-drinking ghost is and how to defeat it, though."

"Is this an alternate reality?" Sly asked, "Since when do you drink tea?"

"Possibly," I muttered to myself at Sly's first question, remembering my conversation with Tennessee a few minutes ago. Louder, I answered the second, "I had to learn to make it for Tate. It's actually okay, once you know how to make it right."

"Who's Tate?"

"Okay!" Bentley interrupted and- wow there was actually a vein twitching over his right eyebrow. I did not think that was a thing that actually happened, "Clearly you two haven't completely caught up yet. Why don't you set a specific time to do it that _isn't_ in the middle of one of our briefings?"

Catching the looks on Tennessee and Murray's faces (amused and worried, respectively), I deliberately sat back and sipped my tea. Sly settled in too, swiping half my bagel because he apparently had to salvage his breakfast-stealing dignity. I resolved to steal his cane at some point in retaliation.

"_Thank you_. We'll need to take measures with this job, so as not to arouse suspicion. So, employing a _masterful_ disguise," Bentley gestured at a pile of worryingly bright cloth and- oh God, was that a fake mustache? "I'll tail Toothpick to the mine's entrance and mark it with a homing beacon. Murray, you'll then use the beacon to find you way there. Toothpick's sure to have secured the entrance so we'll need your... 'formidable skills' to get it open. Then, once we have access, Tennessee can get in and get his gun back. Let's get to work!"

* * *

"I think we're grounded," I said morosely, tugging the straps on the paraglider I was assembling- Sly's last one had been torn when he and Tennessee made a less-than-elegant landing after their prison break. I was a master at putting those things together, after all this time.

"Yeah," Sly agreed, lugging the last of the ping pong equipment from the van and setting it near the parts of the table he was going to put together, "But Bentley can't hold a grudge, so we should be good by the time he gets back."

"Well, thank God for small favors," I muttered, tightening a strap with my teeth when I ran out of hands.

"So," Sly started, faux casual as he reached for a bag of screws, "Who's Tate?"

"Ahanu and Ritsuka's kid. Six years old, sugarglider, adorable wrapped in cute. Likes tea and The Lion King."

"Oh," He sounded like that was not the answer he'd been expecting, but he preferred it. I squinted at him, wondering what he could possibly have thought-

The tangle of cloth I was working with fell from my hands, "Oh sweet Lord, you thought I got a boyfriend and didn't tell you!"

He didn't even bother to deny it, he just shifted uncomfortably and pretended to be really involved in setting up the ping pong table.

"You did!" I laughed and chucked an empty cream cheese cup at his head, "You're a moron."

He caught it without even looking, making me highly suspicious that Rioichi had given him secret ninja lessons while the rest of us weren't looking, "Oh, well, thanks for that information."

Shaking my head at him, I concentrated on properly folding the paraglider into his backpack, "Trust me, I'd have mentioned."

"Well, it's been ages and Bentley was right. We haven't really caught up."

Smirking, I shifted my chair so I could see him better as I worked, "You just want the juicy gossip about Ahanu and Ritsuka."

"Where'd the kid come from?"

We swapped theories on exactly that after I filled him in, until Bentley, Tennessee, and Murray came back.

"Bentley," I said, dumping the completed paraglider onto the table, "I promise, we learned our lesson, no more conversations during the slideshow. Can we stop being grounded now?"

Bentley made a big show of thinking about that before deciding, "One at a time. Sly, while I'm still conveniently in disguise, I need your help finding out what Toothpick's up to. Help me get sarsparilla out of the van."

"What do you need sarsparilla for?" Sly asked.

"All in due time." Bentley cackled to himself.

Tennessee came over to sit next to me and I got my first really good look at his cane. I let out a low whistle, "If I knew anything about guns, I'd probably be really impressed right now."

He shot me a look, "Missy, I'd be much obliged if you'd tell me you're jokin' and you actually do know how to shoot."

I shrugged, waving as Sly and Bentley headed outside, "Grew up with an overprotective dad and, after that, never really got a chance to learn."

"Now that ain't right." Tennessee was up and bouncing on the balls of his feet, "Everyone's gotta know how to _shoot_. Come on, get that doohickey over there to give us some cans. We're gonna have a little lesson."

As cool as Tennessee was, I was a bit concerned by the smug way he said 'little lesson', "Murray," I made my way over to the van and tried to figure out how to get it to cough up empty cans, "You coming with us?" I had a feeling backup would be good to have.

"I've almost got this arcade game working, but I'll see you when you get back!" So much for that.

Well, maybe when I got back I could use the video game to repair my ego after being terrible at shooting wounded it.

* * *

There we go, another one bites the dust! I'm off to go resist the urge to set fire to my Spanish class and eat ice cream. You know the drill!


	5. The One With The Runaway Stagecoach

Hi, everyone! Posting this a little early because I have school and work all day today and I might as well update because there's a significant chance that I'll burn my Spanish classroom to the ground and wind up in prison anyway. Some quick housekeeping before we get started, though:

I've been getting a lot of the same questions on the blog, in reviews, over private messaging, etc... I've answered most of them before, but just to make things abundantly clear once and for all:

-I update every other Tuesday.  
-There will be fifteen chapters and a short epilogue.  
-I've already finished writing the story, so you won't have to worry about any delays. Seriously, if a chapter isn't uploaded by Wednesday (Central Time), you have reason to be concerned for my good health.  
-I fully intend to write another story for Sly 5, provided it's handled as well as Sly 4 was.

I'm happy to answer any questions (provided they have some context with the stories/games and aren't spoilery), but please check to make sure I haven't already answered them before you ask. I don't really mind, but it gets repetitive. With that out of the way, on with the chapter!

* * *

I blinked at the empty fence, then looked at the revolver in my hand, then back at the fence.

Tennessee had wanted to start me off with something small so I could get used to aiming and kickback. Also he looked like he'd rather throw himself off the cliff behind the Safehouse than let me anywhere _near_ his cane.

For once, that was probably an unfounded worry.

"Uh," I looked at the cans at the base of the fence, "Beginner's luck?" Because I was _good_ at shooting and _how did that make any sense?_

"You sure you never done this before?" Kid asked skeptically, before we both jumped at the sounds of gunshots that hadn't come from my gun.

"Those weren't from the direction of the saloon, so it can't be Sly and Bentley," I said.

"Well," Tennessee took his gun back, "Why don't we go see what it is?"

He was heading off down the rails before I could even process that. Resigning myself to the fact that I was definitely about to get grounded again, I took off after him.

My rail-sliding was as good as it ever was, which is to say 'not very'. Still, it got the job done and I caught up to Tennessee, who was perched atop a ramshackle building in front of the Safehouse.

"Your rail-slidin' could use some work."

I didn't waste time giving him a glare. I pulled out my binocucom instead, relinquishing half of it to him so he could see as well, and pointed it in the direction we'd heard the gunshots.

I was not expecting what I saw.

"Is that _Kristian_?" I squeaked, looking at the cougar who was tussling with two longhorns, presumably having lost both his gun and his tonfa or having not had time to draw a weapon, as he was fighting barehanded.

"Sweet jumping jackrabbits!" Bentley must have gotten back to the Safehouse at some point, since he had clearly been at his laptop to monitor my binocucom, "What is _he_ doing here?"

"Y'all know him?!" Tennessee asked, pulling back so he could give both the binocucom and me a surprised look.

"I'm afraid so," Bentley replied, "Something is very wrong here. But all quantum physics aside, we have to help him! You two are closest- I'll grab Sly and Murray, and we'll meet you with the van. Just get going!"

"Oh Kristian is going to be _pissed_ about being a damsel in distress," I muttered under my breath as Tennessee and I took off across the powerlines.

Kid Cooper, meanwhile, was concerned with an entirely different side of things. "Kidnappin'! That Toothpick is lower than a snake in a ditch."

I was running through all the old west clichés I could think of in my head, so we could hopefully have some kind of idea what to expect, but it was the one cliché I didn't think of that we were confronted with after a short run though a disused mineshaft.

A stagecoach shot past down a steep path and a glance at a nearby sign showed the bridge was out.

"Oh, son of a-"

"We gotta catch up to that stagecoach!" Tennessee shouted. He grabbed my wrist and tugged me after him, towards- "Follow me, Miss Kaia!"

_Broken train tracks!?_

Over the last couple of years, I'd developed a sort of all-or-nothing attitude towards life, and that was the only thing that gave me the courage to jump on the rails after Tennesee.

Fortunately, Tennessee had a decent start on me, so I was able to watch what he did, where he jumped and use that information not to plummet to my death or be electrified. By the time I skidded to a stop behind him, he was using his gun to clear the path for the stagecoach as best he could from a distance.

I looked ahead, at where the bridge was. It was _way_ too close. There's was barely enough time for Kid to clear the platform before we had to hop onto the next set of rails, trying always to stay a bit ahead of the coach.

"This isn't going to work!" I panted, as Tennessee reloaded.

"If you got a better plan, I'm all ears!"

I looked back at the train tracks, the coach, and the bridge. All Tennessee could really do was delay the crash, he couldn't rebuild a bridge with his gun and there wasn't enough time for the stagecoach to slow down on its own.

So, we either had to stop the stagecoach, something that didn't seem possible if the way the jackrabbit in the driver's seat was freaking out was any indication, or...

On the next set of rails, I didn't slow down to jump off when Tennessee did. Instead, I crouched to build up speed, biting my lip, "Kid, cover me!"

"What in tarnation-!"

I jumped at the very last possible second, sending myself over the fence and timing it so perfectly I surprised myself.

Hitting the stagecoach hard, I wheezed even as I looped a hand around the frame and tumbled inside.

"Kaia!?" Kristian had definitely seen better days. He had a split lip, one of his eyes was swollen shut, and he was bound so tightly I could actually see the ropes cutting into the skin under his thick fur.

"Hey," I breathed, reaching past where my baton hung on my belt to grab the emergency knife I kept, "We're going to have to cut this ride short."

The ropes were thick and the knots were tight. That, coupled with the sound of explosions and the mental countdown to the destroyed bridge my brain was providing me with made cutting Kristian free feel impossible.

"We're running out of time, you need to get _out_ of here," Kristian hissed, and I knew it wasn't because he had any particular fondness for me and was more because he honestly thought we'd both die if I stayed and it just made more sense to him for at least _one_ of us to live.

I ignored him easily, hearing an explosion that was _way too close_ just as I cut the last rope on his feet. I only managed to get through one of the ropes binding his arms before I heard wood under the wheels of the coach. The rest of the ropes would have to wait.

Shoving him towards the window, not having time to figure out how the door was supposed to work, I shouted, "Go!"

I saw him hit the dirt outside in a rough tumble just as the coach went over the edge.

* * *

There was a split second where the only thing running through my mind, even as I lunged for the open frame, was '_I'mdeadI'mdeadI'mdeadI'vediedI'mdead_'.

I got my arms free before I felt the distinct tug of gravity and impending doom. Apparently, that was enough.

The coach went over, but I didn't go with it because there was a flash of orange and brown and a strong grip on my arm and around my ribs, tugging me free.

My legs were dangling in open air, but I was holding onto someone who was pulling me up and _I wasn't going to die_.

"Easy there, darlin'. I gotcha."

I may have been digging my fingers a little too hard into Tennessee's back and neck, but I didn't dare loosen my grip until I was sitting on solid ground.

"Who are _you_?" Kristian was on his feet, having apparently wriggled his way free of the ropes and skipped the whole 'gratitude' phase of having his life saved.

Groaning, I buried my face in my hands and tried to stop shaking, "Kristian, be nice."

"Kaia!"

I looked up at the call and saw Sly, Bentley, and Murray on the cliff nearby. It had been Sly who shouted and it took my adrenaline-rattled brain a second to realize the expression on his face was concern. Lifting a hand, I flashed him an 'ok' symbol with my fingers.

His entire body seemed to slump with relief until Toothpick jumped out from behind the van, gun raised and guards closing in.

"Much obliged for the helpin' hand, Inspector Garter," Toothpick said, smug to previously unknown degrees, "Lemme run these bandidos over to the prison and I'll be back for you all lickety-split! Of course, if you're feelin' neighborly, you could just turn yourself in!"

"Okay," I said slowly as Toothpick led away the rest of the gang, "Roll call. We have no van, no genius, no muscle. What we do have is an outlaw, a really angry cop, and someone who, on a good day, can make a really impressive tuna salad. Who's up for a record? Two rescue missions in two days."

* * *

"I take it back, we have a genius."

Because Bentley? Kept _all_ of his notes. There were blueprints of the prison and possible escape routes, partially plotted out and scrapped for a lack of time. All of it at least gave us a starting point.

Well, I say 'us'. It was me and Tennessee who were looking over the blueprints. Kristian was sitting on the other side of the table, looking disapproving and like he was trying to pretend he didn't know us all at once.

The cougar looked kind of antsy, in a repressed way, more so than I'd ever seen him. It occurred to me that this was the only time I'd ever seen him in a situation he wasn't totally in control of and he was not enjoying himself. He probably wouldn't even be helping us get the gang back, but I'd pointed out that we were pretty much his only shot of getting back to our time.

I was pretty sure this was his version of sulking.

It probably made me a bad person that I found it kind of hilarious.

Tennessee was, surprisingly, taking to technology _very_ well. It hadn't taken him long at all to figure out how to manipulate Bentley's holographic schematics and maps.

"Here," he said, pointing to the river, "It's dangerous, but they won't be expecting us to come this way."

I looked at the map and Bentley's corroborating notes before nodding to myself. "Looks doable to me. According to this, the reasons that way got scrapped are first, that there's guards, and second, that Sly can't swim."

"Are you kiddin' me? That boy can't swim?" Tennessee shook his head at my nod, "Now that ain't right. We gotta fix that."

"You're welcome to try, but I've been working on getting him to learn since we first met and, so far, he's been managing to dodge pretty much every opportunity."

"So what do we have to do to get up the river?" Kristian broke in, impatiently.

I gave him a look, but he just stared me down until I sighed and made an educated guess, since the notes hadn't gotten that far, "I guess we need a boat or a raft capable of going up the river. I don't know where we're going to _get_ one, but-"

Tossing his dusty and torn suit jacket onto the back of a chair and rolling up his shirt sleeves, Kristian made for the door, "Leave that to me."

I looked over at Kid, who just shrugged, and ran after to Kristian to give him a spare binocucom to contact us with.

* * *

I have no idea where the raft came from, I really don't.

"Let's go," Kristian said when he pulled up by the dock next to us.

"Impressive work, Inspector," I said half-sarcastically, just to be a pain. I carefully climbed aboard, way too worried about the raft dumping me into the water.

"Inspector?" Tennessee asked curiously, leaping aboard himself. He turned to look at Kristian, "You some kinda Sheriff? How'd you get mixed up with Sly?"

Kristian's face twisted into something that just _screamed_ that he regretted all of his life choices, so I coughed and changed the subject to spare us all the awkward conversation, "Maybe we should get going?"

Tennessee shrugged, then nodded down the waterway, "There's bound to be plenty'a guards up that way. Miss Kaia, how do you feel about putting your shootin' skills to the test?"

"Apprehensive, but hopefully the beginner's luck will hold out," I admitted, taking the revolver he handed out to me. Because I knew Kristian was a good shot, but one of his eyes was still swollen pretty shut and that would screw with his depth perception too much for him to be any good.

"Alrighty, let's get goin'!" Tennessee bounced on the balls of his feet a few times as we started heading down the river.

Taking out the first line of guards was actually pretty easy. Mostly because Tennessee did all the work while I took out any TNT barrels they'd tossed into the water to keep boats out.

Eventually, though, we came to a gate that stood up to Tennessee's Crackshot. Kristian pulled up to the dock, steering so easily I started to seriously wonder about the raft, and Kid jumped out. He was going to have to go by himself, the path ahead was too small for two people with guns.

Unfortunately, that left me alone with Kristian while Tennessee went to clear out the guards and open the gate.

Kristian didn't say anything, but I could feel his eyes boring holes into the back of my head while I tracked Tennessee's progress across the gate. Presumably, the Interpol agent _wanted_ to go on some kind of rant, but knew this wasn't the time. I wasn't really looking forward to when we got back to the Safehouse.

Tennessee got back in record time and he had news, "Saw more of that new technology up there."

"Crap, I was hoping he wouldn't have had time to reinforce this way to the prison."

"Nothing a good shot couldn't handle," Kid said with a tip of his hat.

"Let's just get going," Kristian interrupted.

The next leg held a _lot_ more guards, all armed with seemingly unlimited dynamite. It helped that Tennessee was a good enough shot to actually hit all the dynamite before it got to us, but that left just me to hit the guards while Kristian struggled to keep the raft steady.

We managed it eventually, but it took far longer than it probably should have and by the time we reached the next gate it was crawling with guards.

Tennessee looked at the set up as Kristian docked us out of sight and range of the steers on the dam gate, "That switch looks kinda important..."

"Need backup?" I asked, trying to gauge how difficult it would be for Tennessee to _reach_ that switch.

"Nah," he nodded toward the thin pipes connecting the odd water contraptions, "Gonna have to use those."

Yeah, I could see his point. I could very likely make it just fine, but I'd have to be pretty slow and carefully about it and we needed to make up the time we'd lost.

So I stayed back with Kristian again. It was a very loaded, extremely uncomfortable silence, and I really hoped I'd be able to find an excuse to stay decently far away from him for a few days until he calmed down.

It was easy to track Tennessee's progress, even if we couldn't see him. The explosions and gunshots kind of gave it away. Before long the gate was open and he was sliding back to us at top speed.

"Let's get goin'!"

After that it was a blur of dynamite and mines before we had to scramble up and slip inside the back door of the prison.

Unfortunately our element of surprised was non-existent, so we'd barely set foot inside before guards were starting to cut off our exit.

Ducking behind a door frame, pistol in one hand, tonfa in the other, Kristian glanced our way, "Go get the others, I'll cover you!"

He didn't give us a chance to say anything before he took off the way we'd come.

Swinging his gun, Tennessee pointed down another hall, "Personal effects are thataway. We're gonna have to fight our way outta here and we're gonna need all the help we can get."

I took the hint and started down the hall while Tennessee went for where they were undoubtedly holding the gang. If he could draw all the guards in that directions, I should be able to get in and out of the storeroom relatively easily.

There were a few close calls, but by the time I reached it, the storeroom was unguarded. There was a lock and chain on it that I probably could have picked, but there was no time for finesse here.

After shooting the lock off, I tugged the chain off and cast my gaze around the room for the Cooper gang's things. Spotting Sly's cane, I grabbed it, sticking it through my backpack straps so I could free up both my hands to carry the box of binocucoms and techno bits that looked to be from Bentley's wheelchair. I couldn't see anything of Murray's, but that wasn't surprising. His weapons were his fists and I doubt they'd have confiscated his gloves.

Running towards the storeroom, the entire prison had been loud with the sounds of gunfire and shouting. Now, there was silence.

It made me nervous as I hurried back the way I came as quietly as I could. The last thing I wanted was for everyone else to be captured, leaving me to put together some kind of half-baked escape plan on my own.

I needn't have worried, though. By the time I reached the others, they were surrounded by unconscious guards and free of their cell.

Kristian and Sly were also standing toe to toe and looking like they were about to try and kill each other right there in the prison yard. Bentley was trying to talk them down and Murray and Tennessee were standing back, like they'd break up the inevitable fight if they could convince themselves to stop watching for a few seconds.

Jogging up, I cleared my throat, "Little help here?"

The tension broke when Sly and Kristian broke eye contact, fortunately. Sly's eyes widened and he came over immediately, "Kaia! Are you okay?"

It was a kind of stupid question, he could see for himself, but I gave him a smile anyway, "Fine, I just went to get your stuff." I nodded over my shoulder at his cane, still hanging on to my backpack.

"Good thing, too," Bentley wheeled himself over and his robo-arms started loading his wheelchair up with gadgets from the box, "We need to get going."

"But guys!" Murray protested, "Where's the van?! We need the van!"

"We'll have to find it later, Murray," I ducked my head so Sly could carefully pull his cane free.

"Don't we need that van to get back to our time?" Kristian asked Bentley... much more nicely than he'd have asked any of us.

"We can get it back," Bentley said, confidently, "I'm more interested in how you got here in the first place."

"Long story," Kristian said, as we closed in on the raft, "I'll fill you in when we get back to the... the Safehouse."

* * *

When we did get back to the Safehouse, Kristian took the raft back to wherever he got it from and I was half-convinced he wasn't going to come back.

He did, though. And he told us his story.

"Interpol's biggest problem right now is a rash of stolen antiquities, all seemingly stolen by the same group," he explained, sitting stiffly in the chair he'd draped his suit jacket over the back of, "Inspector Fox was originally assigned to the case, when it was just a handful of robberies. When it got more out of hand, they called me in to assist, since Fox and I 'collaborated so well on the Cooper gang case'," he said bitterly.

"I didn't know they brought you in," Sly said from where he stood by the door, like he was guarding it.

"You weren't supposed to know," Kristian countered. Neither of them were openly hostile, but I still tensed where I was sitting next to Kid Cooper. I didn't want this to turn into a fight. We were going to have to work with Kristian, the last thing we needed was to have friction between him and anyone in the gang, "Even though it didn't fit your profile, my job was to evaluate whether or not you'd returned to your thieving." The cougar took a long, pointed look around the Safehouse.

Clearing his throat, Bentley tried to get the conversation back on a track that was less fraught with danger, "So how did that land you here?"

For some reason, Bentley was the only one Kristian didn't react to with complete condescension, "We thought Cooper was the one behind the antiquities, so I took over the case since Carmelita had a conflict of interest. After your van vanished, I was searching the museum and found the actual thief unloading antiquities in person."

"Cyrille le Paradox," Sly supplied, "I figured that one out weeks ago."

Kristian's jaw clenched, but he said nothing about that, "I was outnumbered. He shoved me in some strange machine and the next thing I knew..." he waved a hand around the Safehouse as if to encompass the fact that we were, indeed, in the Old West.

"So why does this le Paradox guy have it out for the Coopers?" I asked, looking at Sly and Tennessee, who both shrugged in an eerily similar fashion.

Kristian scoffed, "Who _wouldn't_ have it out for the Coopers?"

"This coming from the Interpol agent who couldn't figure out a thief even after they _opened a museum_ to showcase their stolen artwork?" Sly shot back.

Kristian stood, expression thunderous, and I hurriedly jumped up and said, "Whoa, okay, let's rein it in, guys."

"What I want to know," voice low and sharp, the cougar rounded on me, "is what _you're_ doing here."

After my first instinctive step back, I squared my shoulders and stood as tall as I could, "Why _shouldn't_ I be here?"

"You were supposed to be _staying out of trouble_," Kristian enunciated slowly, clearly, "Your father is going to be mortified. Your _mother_-"

It felt like it happened instantaneously. One second I was fighting the urge to duck behind Tennessee, the next I was right in front of Kristian, one hand fisted in his shirt, hauling him down to eye level, "Don't. You. Dare."

"Miss Kaia."

Tennessee's hand closed around mine and it was only then that I realized I'd taken out my baton. I forced my fingers to uncurl from Kristian's shirt and stepped away from him before I could do something stupid.

"Kid?" I asked, trying not to meet anyone's eyes, "You feel like giving me some pointers on the rail-slide?"

"I surely do."

"Great. Let's do that. I'll meet you outside."

I didn't even pretend to do anything but run out of the Safehouse.

* * *

Tennessee found me out back by the train tracks a few minutes later with my head in my hands. "You okay, Missy?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I just," I tugged at my hair a few more times before sliding my hands down my face, "I didn't know I'd react that strongly. Took me by surprise." And here I'd been hoping to keep any fights from happening, I hadn't been looking to _start_ one! "Sorry."

"Aw, heck, you got nothin' to say 'sorry' for." Tennessee dropped down next to me and scratched at the back of his neck, "Everyone's got somethin' like that. The others are mighty worried 'bout you, though. Thought Sly was gonna skin that Inspector fella before I left."

Shaking my head, I let out a ragged sigh, "I'll talk to them later."

"They'll be okay if ya don't." Kid said firmly and I had to smile. He hopped up, "Now, ya still want help with the rail-slide?"

"You bet," I wasn't going to pass up pointers from the guy who _invented_ the thing.

"First things first," he said, walking along the tracks, "If the rail wants to take you a particular way, you let it..."

* * *

It was well after dark by the time we got back. We didn't go in the regular entrance, rather we climbed up to the top of the clocker tower and I stayed in the loft while Tennessee headed down the ladder to let everyone know we were back.

As sinfully hot as it usually was, there was a chill in the air now that the sun had gone down and looking over the town from the height of the clock tower was actually pretty cool.

I was so zoned out that I jumped when I noticed someone else on the clock face.

"You need to wear a bell!" I insisted, trying to get my heart back under control while Sly slipped inside.

"But that would make my job so much harder," he protested innocently. Then, with a smile and a flourish, he pulled a rose from behind his back.

My laugh was half shock and half delight when I took the flower, "Where did you even get this? We're in the middle of a desert!"

"It's apparently part of the 'festivities'. I think there's supposed to be a rain of rose petals or something," he explained, dropping down next to me on the sleeping bags, "I was doing recon for tomorrow's jobs when I found a whole bunch of them. I thought it might make you feel better."

"You thought right," I said, rubbing a soft petal between my fingers. "You do realize this doesn't count as 'legally purchased', though, right?"

He laughed, "I do, actually." After a few minutes of companionable silence, he asked, "Want to talk about it?"

"I actually did tell you about it once."

Whipping his head around, he stared at me, "I'm pretty sure I'd remember that."

"Well, you _were_ kind of in a coma at the time."

He had to think about that for a second, "Kaine island?"

I nodded, "Bentley said talking to you might help. I ran out of things to talk about."

After thinking about that, "Want to talk about it with someone who's conscious?"

Smiling, I shook my head.

"... want a hug?"

If the sun went out, one of Sly's hugs would probably make me feel optimistic about the impending extinction of the planet; so instead of answering, I leant against his side and relaxed when he wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

No matter how emotionally compromised I was, I'd always be glad I'd come back to the gang.

* * *

There we go, another chapter done! I hope you all enjoyed and, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pass out before I have to wake up and go to class tomorrow.


End file.
